Ella and Sinclair stayed up late into the night, reveling in their new discovery. I had believed our dream date would provide closure, but it turned out to be not the end, but the beginning.
"It's no wonder you've been feeling so off-kilter," Sinclair consoled, trailing his fingers up and down my naked back.
When he began undressing me, I thought we were going to make love again—something I was eager to experience outside my dreams. However, he informed me that his wolf wouldn't be able to resist marking me permanently, so we should wait until it was safe. Of course, as soon as he mentioned claiming me, the little voice in my head went wild with excitement.
I attempted to change his mind, showing off my curves and showering him with kisses. However, when my hand moved to touch him, he stopped me, seizing my hand and pinning me. I whined and growled, but he only growled back, swatting my bottom. Now, sprawled across his chest, chastised and sulking, he seemed to think he could make me feel better by sympathizing—the tyrant. "It's not just the pregnancy or the stress. You've finally found your own kind, and your inner wolf has been emerging more and more."
I sniffed, preparing to argue, but his words sank in. My inner wolf… the little voice in my head… she was the one urging me to behave so oddly lately. I couldn't recall her being so vocal before, or so unreasonable. I'd always assumed it was my conscience, but in hindsight… are consciences usually so defiant? Do they typically have personalities of their own, feeling separate yet a part of you simultaneously?
Suddenly, I remembered how that same inner voice had cried out with joy at being free when I shifted in the dream. "Conscience?" I asked hesitantly. "Are… are you my wolf?"
"Well, duh," she replied dryly. "It certainly took you long enough to figure it out."
"Why didn't you tell me!" I exclaimed, exasperated.
"I thought you knew! You're always talking to me!" she countered hotly.
Sinclair watched me closely, a knowing look on his face. "Wolves can be very contrary at times."
"I… I've always had this voice," I whispered, my eyes wide. "I had no idea."
He nodded. "When you grow up among wolves, your elders teach you that voice is your inner animal. That's part of why it's so important that shifters are raised within their packs."
"I still don't understand," I admitted, feeling overwhelmed. "If this is all real, why didn't I shift when I was older? Why is she only emerging now?"
"I hate to say it, Ella," Sinclair began gravely, "but I think someone did this to you… that they suppressed your wolf."
"What do you mean?" I asked, my muscles tensing.
"If a pack knows a child exists and something happens to their parents, the pup is placed with relatives or a shifter family willing to foster them. Our children are incredibly important to us; it would be terrible neglect to let them be raised among humans. This only happens when the parents lack shifter connections—usually rogues or those outside their territory. Every case of a dormant wolf I've heard of begins with a child found by humans at an accident site, or wandering unattended in the wilderness or a strange city," Sinclair explained, stroking my hair with a pitying expression.
"Okay," I nodded, unsure where this was going. "So maybe my parents were from a different pack?"
He shook his head. "Sweetheart, I looked into your orphanage records when this began. You weren't found by humans… you were given to them. Your parents surrendered you directly to the orphanage. There were no names in the file—which shouldn't have been allowed—but it's part of why I never considered you might be a wolf. I thought if you were dormant, it would have shown years ago, and that no shifters would ever give their pup to humans."
It surprised me how much this hurt. I'd never known my family history—I left the orphanage before adulthood, and they didn't share such details with children. Still, I didn't know any orphan who hadn't fantasized about their parents returning. No one wants to believe they were abandoned… unwanted. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because I thought it was in the past, and it would only hurt you," Sinclair frowned, wiping away a tear. "But now that we know the truth… it suggests something much bigger is going on, Ella. I think your parents were trying to hide you, and they suppressed your wolf to ensure you wouldn't be found."
"So how do we find out for sure?" I asked, unsure how to feel. Was it worse to be abandoned, or for those who supposedly loved you most to intentionally cut you off from your true self?
Sinclair hugged me close. "We get a DNA test, to start," he declared. "And then we take it one step at a time."
The next morning, I found myself in the doctor's office, with two very serious-looking wolves towering over me. Sinclair, the closest, looked as if he were trying to glare the physician into the ground, and I suspected he felt particularly protective after watching the man draw my blood. Apparently, his wolf couldn't stand seeing me bleed, even for a test. I leaned into his side, unsure whether to soothe him or myself.
"Well, it's confirmed," the doctor confirmed. "You're a wolf, Ella."
Sinclair's arm squeezed my shoulders, and I felt his lips graze my hair. "Then why didn't I know? Why can't I shift?" I asked, sounding only slightly petulant.
"I don't know," he said regretfully. "This test only confirms you have shifter DNA. I can refer you to a geneticist to try and decipher your family line, traits, whether you're an alpha or omega, but unless someone else in your family has given samples, we won't know who you are or how this happened. That's probably something you'll have to figure out yourself."
"Do you know how we can fully awaken her inner wolf?" Sinclair asked. "It's obviously been emerging since we met, especially with the baby, but it's still buried deep."
"The bad news is you'll probably have to wait until your pup is born," the physician informed us. "As soon as your wolf awakens, you'll likely have your first shift. Normally, it's safe for breeding she-wolves because it's instantaneous. But a first shift breaks bones and tears muscles—as you know, Alpha. There's no telling what it would do to the baby."
"But I shifted in the dream, and that was instant," I reminded Sinclair.
"It's not the same, sweetheart," Sinclair shook his head sadly. "Pups can dream as their wolves too, but the first real shift is still awful."
"You mean I have to give birth and have all my bones broken sometime in the near future?" I demanded indignantly.
Before Sinclair could reply, the doctor said, "Let's just hope it's not the same day, Ella."
Both our heads snapped toward him, my heart stopping.
"Well, uh… that's the thing," the doctor hedged, watching Sinclair warily. A low growl rumbled steadily in the Alpha's chest, and I wondered if it was meant to be a purr to calm me, but he wasn't calm enough to manage it. "A couple of things could awaken her wolf naturally: claiming her as your mate, or giving birth. It's also possible neither will work, and you'll have to find another way." He held up his hands. "These are guesses, but the fact that her wolf has been emerging in response to you and the baby suggests that her mate or child might be enough to break whatever binds her wolf. So if birth triggers it, it might be… well, back-to-back."
"Why would you tell her that with so little tact?" Sinclair snarled. "She's already under enough stress."
"I'm sorry, Alpha, this is uncharted territory for all of us," the doctor said. "It just came out."
"And I suppose you have no idea how we might awaken her wolf if those things don't work?" Sinclair interrogated through gritted teeth.
"No. I've never seen a case like this. I think you need to go to the elders. If anyone knows about this kind of magic, it's them."
Sinclair growled, scooping me up. "Then we'll go to the elders."