Chapter 136: Ella's Dilemma

Ella

I gaze around at the icy mountains, squinting at the sky. The sun is high overhead, about halfway through its daily journey from east to west. It must be noon—three hours since I found the passage, according to my bedroom clock. The Prince's deadline isn't until dusk, so I still have time to reach Sinclair, assuming I can get back to the city.

I immediately regret leaving my go-bag behind. My coat was damaged, but the bag contained other clothes I could layer for warmth. Moving without the weight might be faster, but hypothermia is a far greater threat.

"Just keep your blood moving," my wolf advises. "As long as your heart's pumping, it will keep you warm."

"Not if I'm sweating," I counter. "The sweat will freeze and kill me faster."

"Then stay active, but not so strenuously that you sweat. You don't want to stress the baby," she advises.

"Alright," I agree. "How far do you think the valley is?"

"It's nowhere in sight, so we must be on the wrong slope," my wolf reasons, making my heart sink.

"So I have to go over it?" I ask in horror, looking up at the snow-covered peak. There's no way I can climb that without gear; it would take far too long. Besides, I'd probably fall into a crevasse or get caught in an avalanche. Survival is impossible.

"I think we have to give up on reaching Sinclair before he comes after us—we need him to come after us," she suggests. "All we can do is stay warm and hope he attempts a rescue soon."

I hate to admit it, but she's right. I wanted to prevent Sinclair from further danger, but beggars can't be choosers, and I'm certainly one right now. Do I stay put and walk in circles, or try to descend? I don't want to remain in the open in case the Prince discovers my escape before Sinclair arrives, but the closer I am to the tunnel, the faster I can be rescued.

I could go back into the tunnel and hope the Prince doesn't notice. A thought strikes me: it's risky, but the tunnel was warmer. I might have a better chance if My thoughts trail off as I see the rock wall I emerged from is sealed shut. Like the fireplace, an interior lever had opened the passage, but unlike the fireplace, this one seems to have closed behind me.

Panicked, I rush back to the granite slab, pushing at it as I'd seen the guards do at the safe house. I try and try to open it, searching for a mechanism, but find nothing. Finally, I'm throwing my body against the rock, tears of frustration streaming down my cheeks. "No!" I cry angrily. "No, no, no! It isn't fair! Open, damn you!"

Nothing happens. I collapse into the snow, letting out a wordless scream of outrage and misery.

"Get up!" my wolf orders sharply. "Lying in the snow will soak your clothes, and then we'll really be screwed."

Knowing she's right, I jump to my feet. Frost clings to my tears, and I rub away the crystalline particles, trying to maintain my composure, even though I want nothing more than to rage at the Goddess and the universe.

At a loss, I stare down the mountain. The treeline starts about a mile below. Though the sun will keep me warmer than the shaded forest, the lower elevation might offer shelter. Even as I think it, I know I won't make it through the night—not in my current state.

"There are always the herbs," my wolf reminds me softly, regret in her voice. "If you wake me fully, we'll be able to handle the elements. Wolves are made for the wilderness you'll be ten times harder to kill."

"No!" I argue immediately, clutching my belly. "Not unless we have no other choice. Those herbs are a last resort."

"I don't like it any more than you do," she says sorrowfully, "but this is life or death. If you don't make it, neither does Rafe."

"I know!" I insist fiercely. "But I can't there's still a chance we can find another way. Maybe Sinclair can catch up before it's too late."

"Maybe there's a cabin in that forest in fact, I bet there is! If the Royal Family uses these tunnels in emergencies, there's probably emergency shelter nearby! It would be crazy not to have one in winter."

"Okay, then," my wolf approves. "We keep moving and look for shelter."

Calmer now that I have a plan, I rub my belly and comfort my growing pup. "It's okay, angel. Daddy's going to come for us, and until then, I'm going to keep you safe and sound."

It takes ages to reach the forest. I force my tired legs through the deep snowdrifts, sinking into feet of fresh powder with every step. I try to use my sharpened senses to detect a path or opening in the dense trees, but see only ice and snow. I'm already exhausted, and my skin stings from the glacial wind. I feel some relief entering the dense woodland, scenting the air for any sign of wildlife or civilization, no matter how distant.

The snow isn't as deep in the forest, and it's less cold than on the exposed snowpack, but moving is becoming increasingly difficult. I desperately want to rest, but I focus on Sinclair and Rafe, forcing my body to continue.

I stumble forward for what seems like hours, and when night falls, I realize it's been far longer than I thought. I haven't found any shelter, and the air grows colder as darkness sets in. "Where are you, Dominic?" I ask aloud, my breath fogging around my face. I try to comfort myself knowing he'll know I escaped, and is probably on his way but that tunnel was so long, and I've been walking for hours.

He's not going to make it in time. I realize this with dreadful certainty. He must have waited until he couldn't any longer I begged him to rescue me only as a last resort, and he listened. Now it's too far, and I'm too weak. He's still hours away, and I can barely walk I can't even feel my toes anymore.

Overcome by this horrible reality, I give up my trek. Shivering uncontrollably, I curl up on the ground, clutching my limbs. There's only one thing left to do but I can't bear the pain of knowing saving my life will end my baby's.

"I'm sorry," I sob pitifully, cradling my tummy. "I'm so sorry. I don't want to do this," I tell Rafe. "I tried I tried so hard to save us."

My wolf, though it was her suggestion, mourns silently in my head, as devastated as I am. "I love you so much. If there were any other way I would never hurt you." My breath comes in violent heaves. "You were my dream you were everything I ever wanted your daddy and I were to give you such a wonderful life" I hiccup. "You were never going to want for anything, or doubt how deeply we loved you. You were my entire world, and Dominic's too" I can't bear using the past tense. "I'm so, so sorry you will always be my little prince. We will never forget you, Rafe."

I cry until my eyelids droop and my heart rate slows. I don't move until I know there's no more time. If I don't do this now my baby won't be the only one who dies.

"It's time," my wolf murmurs, her voice distant.

My heart shattering, I swallow the herb.