Chapter 153 – Late Night Comfort

"Won't you come to bed?" I asked, leaning over Sinclair's back and wrapping my arms around his neck. "You need to rest."

My mate was sitting at his computer, drafting emails and marching orders—secret correspondences to his allies and spies across the continent. He'd been trying to figure out how to get a message to the people of the united packs, to let them know we were alive and wouldn't forsake them. The best plan so far involved willing rebels posting bulletins and spray-painting messages throughout the various cities, along with anti-authoritarian propaganda. No one liked the idea of civilians endangering themselves, but we didn't have much choice. This was a whole new world.

"In a while," Sinclair murmured, rubbing his scruffy jaw against my cheek before kissing me. My wolf reached out to his, trying to sense his emotions, but she encountered a brick wall. "You go get some sleep, baby."

"But I want to sleep with you," I complained, not even caring that I was whining. I knew I couldn't help Sinclair unless he let me, and I'd stoop to anything to convince him.

"I know, trouble. I'll be there soon," he replied, kissing me again. "I just want to finish a few things first."

I begrudgingly agreed and slipped off to the sumptuous bed—my new nest—and climbed inside. It didn't feel right without my mate, and I realized that I associated Sinclair with safety, just as he did with me. Our wolves weren't content unless they were together. I tried to call him to me in a dream, hoping it would make him fall asleep. Instead, I fell into a fitful spell of dreams, searching for my mate, only to be repeatedly disappointed.

Eventually, I woke, and as I blinked open my eyes and reached for Sinclair, I realized I was still alone. I glanced at the clock; it was almost three in the morning—four hours since I'd gone to bed. I climbed out of bed and groggily stumbled toward the door. As soon as I opened it, I heard the distant buzz of a video, though I wasn't sure what was happening. It sounded like scenes from a war zone, and I followed the sound with growing worry.

Sinclair was sitting on the couch, his laptop on the table before him, his attention fixed on the screen. I followed his gaze and saw a grainy video of the Royal Army pouring through the streets of Moon Valley, forcing people out of their homes for interrogations and tests of allegiance to the former Prince—now Emperor. It didn't look like high-quality news footage, and I slowly understood that this video had been secretly recorded.

"What's going on?" I murmured, rubbing my eyes.

"He's shut down all the media outlets," Sinclair responded, reaching for me. I happily went to him, settling into his lap. "He's setting up his own state-run news agency to spread his propaganda, and people are risking their lives to get the word out." As we watched, the shifter filming the video attracted the attention of a soldier, who stormed over demanding to see what they were filming. The soldier raised his fist, and then the video cut to black and white static.

My stomach churned as I realized the implications. My wolf howled, knowing these were members of our own pack, suffering terrible abuses without anyone to protect them. I could only imagine how much worse this felt for my mate, even though he was shielding me from fully experiencing it.

"Please don't shut me out, Dominic," I begged, looking up at his stony face. "I know you're hurting, and I want to help. Don't push me away."

Sinclair purred, kissing my brow. "I know you want to help, sweetheart. The problem is that there's nothing to be done. This isn't going to get better until I find a way to make things right, and I'm afraid that won't happen for some time."

"You can still talk to me, let me support you," I encouraged. "I'm your mate; that's how it's supposed to be."

Sinclair shook his head with a low groan. "You've got enough to deal with without me dumping my problems on you as well."

"But your problems are my problems," I argued. "We're in this together."

"Trust me, Ella, I'm well aware of that." I was surprised by the harshness of his tone, even though it wasn't directed at me.

"What do you mean?" I asked anxiously, disliking the dark note in his voice.

"I mean the only reason you're in this situation is my fault," Sinclair growled. "If you'd never met me, you could have had a normal life. A safe life."

"Dominic, if I'd never met you, I'd be back there," I said sternly, pointing at the computer screen. "I'd be bankrupt, heartbroken, thinking I was barren, with a trapped wolf and nothing but an abusive employer and a deadbeat ex-boyfriend—and that would have been before all this chaos. There's no telling what might have happened if you hadn't gotten me out."

Sinclair winced. "You also wouldn't have been kidnapped, blackmailed, attacked by rogues, or forced to flee the only home you've ever known," he countered severely, his jaw clenched with self-reproach. "You wouldn't have been in the position of having to choose between your life and our baby's."

I couldn't stand the way he was blaming himself for the Prince's crimes. "Listen to me," I demanded, sitting up and refusing to continue until he looked me in the eye. "Because of you, I am safe and loved; I'm about to fulfill my lifelong dream of becoming a mother. You freed my wolf—opened my eyes to my true nature, gave me insights into my own past that I never knew existed." I insisted. "And I'll tell you something else: You didn't trick me into walking away from my old life. Your wolf, as irresistible as he is, didn't lure me away with promises of sunshine and rainbows. I convinced you to take me on, do you remember that? I started all this."

"And you had no idea what you were getting into," Sinclair replied coolly, echoing a sentiment he'd expressed before. "But I did. I was so determined to win the election that I took advantage of a desperate, innocent woman."

These words made me so angry that I wrenched myself from his lap and stood before him, hands on my hips. "Shut up," I hissed angrily, surprising my mate with the force of my words.

He arched an ominous brow. "You might not like hearing it, but—"

"I said: Shut. Up," I repeated fiercely, ignoring the flash of his wolf in his eyes. "I am not going to let you twist our past because you're feeling guilty about the coup. You weren't some ne'er-do-well who saw a damsel in distress and pounced at the opportunity to take advantage. I am not your victim, and do you know how I know that? Because I have been a victim before, I know what that feels like, and it isn't this." My voice was strong and sharp.

"I went into this with my eyes wide open, and maybe I didn't know all the implications, but you protected me every step of the way," I reminded him. "You loved me and cared for me from day one, and if I'd known then what I do now, I would gladly do it all over again. I don't want Damon in power any more than you do, and I would gladly sacrifice myself if it means protecting the millions he'll abuse in his reign."

Sinclair's eyes glowed as he looked up at me, an unreadable emotion in them. "Are you finished?"

I crossed my arms. "That depends. Are you going to keep being an unreasonable, block-headed, patronizing—" Before I could finish my list of choice words, Sinclair leaned forward, tossed me over his shoulder, and carried me to the bedroom, slamming the laptop shut along the way.

The next thing I knew, I was on my back in bed, with my powerful mate looming above me. "You will not be sacrificing yourself for anyone," Sinclair rumbled, his voice gruff and gravelly. "Not for me, not your guards, not the whole kingdom."

"That doesn't make sense, Dominic," I rolled my eyes. "I'm not more important than all our people combined."

"When you were kidnapped and you gave yourself up for your guards, I told you that I was going to make sure you never did anything so reckless again," he paused, letting the memory sink in. "But I let you off the hook because of everything we went through afterward… but maybe that was a mistake," he mused, hunger blazing in his eyes, the vibrations of his Alpha power sending shivers through my body. "From the sounds of it, you haven't learned your lesson yet, mate."