Chapter 214 – What You’ve Done to Me

Ella

We didn’t spend long in the bath. As soon as I was fed and clean, Sinclair took me to my nest and laid me out as if I were his own personal feast. He wasted no time ravishing me.

I’ve never feared Sinclair. Not at his wildest or grouchiest, not even when he was on the warpath against others or assailing me with the full force of his magic. If anything, it has been incredibly arousing to know that I can call such a powerful man my own, that I am the sole soft spot in his impenetrable armor.

But when he made love to me this time, I felt afraid. Not for myself—never that—but for the feral energy I sensed swirling through his body. His wolf was in full control, and he was near rabid with desire—ruthless in his affection. He wasn’t gentle, nor would I have asked him to be. I love his rough passion and savage intensity: the way he makes me feel like I’m the only woman in the world and he’ll die if he doesn’t have me this instant; the way he drives into me with reckless abandon and earth-shattering skill, drawing sounds from my mouth that I didn’t even know I was capable of making, sounds he greedily swallows with his tongue.

Still, there was a dark edge to his carnal hunger, as if he sought not just sensual release but absolution. The dominance he exerted earlier paled in comparison to the chaotic power fueling him now, and while I might not understand everything behind his actions, I realized that as much as he wanted me, he was also hurting. I was witnessing the results of everything he’d pent up over the last few days, and my wolf was only too eager to submit, to give him whatever solace we could offer, for however long he needed it. So I gave myself to him completely, letting him claim me again and again, trying to survive the endless onslaught of pleasure he delivered. At some point, it became too much, and my vision blacked out as I crested the peak of yet another orgasm. I didn’t fight the darkness, because I knew I was safe in my mate’s arms at last.

I was alone when I woke, and instantly feared Sinclair’s return had all been a dream. I jerked upright in my nest, my wolf whimpering as I scanned the room. However, almost as soon as the sound left my lips, a soft purr rose to meet it, and I shifted my worried gaze to follow the comforting rumble. Sinclair stood on the terrace, looking out at the sleeping city, but he turned and strode back to the bed. “It’s okay, Ella. I’m here,” he assured me, wrapping me in his strong arms.

I clung to him with all my strength, unable to speak. My heart felt as though it had just taken a plunge off a high dive, without knowing if there was any water to break my fall. Luckily, there was, but my pulse was still racing with fright. Sinclair stroked my spine and kissed my hair, murmuring sweet nothings in my ear. It took me longer than it should have to calm down, but my wolf was seriously on edge after the last week.

“What were you doing?” I finally asked, unable to keep a petulant note from my voice; my inner animal was thoroughly affronted that he’d scared me this way.

“I was just thinking,” Sinclair answered, his warm breath fluttering over my ear. “I haven’t had a moment to stop since the explosion—I’ve been so focused on getting home. But now I’m here, everything is hitting me at once.” As soon as he said it, he opened the gates and let the emotion pour through our bond. I was thankful that he didn’t try to hide his pain from me, but the force of it was staggering. It wasn’t only grief for Hugo and his men, but confusion and guilt over his own survival. More than anything else, I sensed a deep well of helplessness, stemming from his inability to protect the people he loved amidst the chaos.

I held him tighter. “They were good men,” I said softly. “They loved you; they would have been happy you survived, even if they didn’t.”

“But they shouldn’t have had to die,” Sinclair replied thickly, burying his head in my neck and breathing in my scent. “We didn’t even see the attack coming. We don’t know how Damon managed it, or where the bomber is now.” He didn’t say it, but I sensed how badly this grated on his nerves—one more thing he couldn’t control, one more tragedy piling onto his conscience. “I’m so sick of this war, and it’s hardly even begun.”

“I know,” I said honestly. “And I know how badly you want to fix all this, how agonizing it’s been for you to see your people suffering. Please just remember that you’re not in this alone, Dominic. You don’t have to have all the answers. Your family, your pack—we all love you and we’re in this together.” I reminded him, hoping the words didn’t sound hollow to a man who bore the weight of the world on his shoulders. “We’re all mourning for Hugo, for every wolf in those cars. Don’t let our relief that you’re okay make it seem otherwise, because we all lost a great deal in that accident. We’ll make sure they didn’t die in vain. We’re going to get through this.”

“Thank you, baby,” Sinclair sighed, his salty tears feeling hot on my skin. “I really needed to hear that.”

I nodded, still a bit afraid to trust that he was truly there, while also hating that his homecoming carried such heartache. “I would have told you sooner if those bullies had let me come after you,” I quipped, only half joking.

“Mmm,” Sinclair rumbled appreciatively. “And I suppose that’s the only reason you were so determined to come after me? Because you knew I needed comfort?”

I was suddenly very glad he couldn’t see my face. “Not entirely.”

“What else?” Sinclair asked, pulling back to look down at me and, as usual, filling me with the sensation that he could see straight through me.

I shrugged and leaned my cheek against his shoulder, wishing we didn’t have to have this conversation, but knowing he wouldn’t rest until we did.

“Come on, trouble, talk to me,” Sinclair encouraged. “You kept saying you knew I was okay after the attack, but that’s not how it sounds.” He sighed, petting my sides. “You collapsed. You’ve been neglecting your health, and cutting yourself off from the baby? None of that seems hopeful.”

“I said I knew you were alive. But I didn’t know you were okay…” I corrected him, staring at my lap. “And everyone was telling me I was just in denial. I was afraid to sleep because it might prove them right if you didn’t turn up…and I think I was so desperate to come after you because I needed to prove them wrong. I needed to know I wasn’t just blindly hoping. The truth is that I was terrified,” I confessed shakily. “You don’t realize what you’ve done to me, Dominic.”

Sinclair took my face in his hands, his thumbs brushing away stray tears as they slipped down my cheeks. “What have I done, baby?”

The concern on his face nearly toppled me over, but I managed to stay upright—if only because I needed to reassure him. “Before I met you, all I ever wanted was a baby. That’s it,” I explained, still amazed by how quickly everything had changed. “I would have loved a partner, but you saw what I was willing to settle for with Mike.” My mate growled at the sound of the human’s name, and as much as I wanted to smile, I couldn’t. The confession I was about to make was too grave, too terrifying given how precarious our lives were.

“But you ruined all that…you made my old dreams not enough anymore,” I shared, searching his emerald gaze for understanding. “You opened my eyes to worlds I didn’t know existed, a kind of love I never dreamed I might have. You spoiled me…spoiled me for anyone else; nothing but you will ever be enough for me now.” The worry dissipated from Sinclair’s gaze, and he watched me with such tenderness that my wolf melted into a puddle. “I can’t lose you, Dominic. I love this baby with every fiber of my being, but I need you too. I don’t want to go back to the way things were—living a half-life and convincing myself it was enough because I didn’t know any better.”

“You’re not going to lose me, sweetheart,” Sinclair promised, and I could tell he believed it, even though this wasn’t something within our control.

“You don’t know that,” I replied, thinking of Isabel, or Henry, and all the people who had lost mates. “Look at what has already happened.”

“Exactly,” Sinclair purred. “Look at what we’ve already survived, look at the forces that have tried to keep us apart and failed. What can’t we do?”

I furrowed my brow. “But—” I wanted to say that this was all still just beginning, we still had the summit ahead of us, and who knew what other challenges lay in wait. But I didn’t get the chance.

Sinclair’s finger covered my lips. “No buts, no what ifs. You’re my destiny, Ella. I’m not going to let anything come between us.”