“Goddess, Cora, what’s wrong with me?” I moaned, burying my head in my hands. “I’ve been thinking Sinclair is too good to be true all along. There couldn’t be a bigger red flag, and I just ignored it. I let him love-bomb me, and I bought every manipulative word he said.”
I was seated in my sister’s living room, rocking back and forth while she looked on anxiously. After receiving Sinclair’s text last night, I didn’t waste any time getting out of his house. I went onto my balcony, waited until the patrolling guards passed, then climbed down the trellis and out the back gate. A vicious thunderstorm was raging, but I barely noticed. I ran through the pouring rain, not stopping until I reached Cora’s apartment.
In hindsight, I’m sure I scared her half to death—turning up on her doorstep in the middle of the night, looking like a drowned rat. Nonetheless, she immediately ushered me in, got me a change of dry clothes and a cup of hot tea, but I wasn’t calm enough to explain what happened until this morning.
“Ella, just slow down. I didn’t think anything had even happened between you two?” Cora asked, watching me with obvious concern.
“I mean, nothing huge,” I clarified. “We’ve flirted, kissed, and fooled around a bit…and I’ve insisted that things not go any further. At least, I had enough sense to ensure we didn’t start an actual relationship.”
“And he agreed? You said no, and he didn’t push you?” Cora pressed.
“Yeah, I mean, it’s been hard because we’re attracted to each other, but he’s been trying to respect my wishes.”
“Then how can he have love-bombed you?” she inquired, looking confused.
“I guess that’s the wrong expression,” I conceded. “It’s just, you should hear the way he talks to me and the way he behaves. He’s so affectionate and warm that I got completely lulled into complacency. He lavishes attention and compliments, he actually listens and takes criticism. He takes my thoughts and opinions into account, and he has this silly side where he can be so fun and playful, but at the same time, he doesn’t let me get away with murder. He calls me on my shortcomings and holds me accountable. Like I said, he’s just too good to be true.”
Cora frowned deeply, her expression guarded as she processed my words. “Ella…”
“What? Why are you looking at me that way?” I burst, instantly regretting my sharp tone. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped at you…” Tears welled up. “I didn’t mean it. I’m just really out of sorts.”
“I know, honey,” she murmured, her brows furrowing in sympathy. “And don’t take this the wrong way, but none of that sounds very bad. I mean, it’s not like he’s pretending to be this perfect person. You two started off on terrible footing—terrible!” she repeated for emphasis. “He thought you were a gold digger and was going to separate you from your child. You had to learn to get along, and sure, that happened fast once you decided to trust each other, but… I’m sorry, Ella, but it honestly just sounds like you like each other.” She leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees and giving me serious therapist vibes. “Is it possible that you are so used to assholes like Mike that you assume being treated well is evidence of some sort of trick?”
It took me a moment to absorb that. Was she right? Was I so unused to receiving genuine affection and compliments that I somehow mistook them for Sinclair grooming me for abuse? Even as I thought this, I recalled other things that had happened between us. “That’s not all,” I confessed, blushing scarlet. “Yes, he’s affectionate, and that feels strange to me, but he’s also bossy and domineering. He always expects to be in charge.”
“Of course he is, he’s an alpha,” Cora remarked blithely.
“But, I mean, in charge in… well, I mean…”
Cora rolled her eyes. “Ella, stop beating around the bush, just tell me what happened.”
“It’s just that he doesn’t stop at giving orders; he holds me to them,” I confessed. “Once, he even spanked me.”
“Okay,” Cora responded, looking as though she was waiting for me to say more.
“After the attack on the Wild Hunt,” I explained, offering the information freely now. “I mean… I slapped him first, and he said all this crap about catharsis, but I didn’t even question it because he said it was normal with shifter couples.”
“You slapped Dominic Sinclair?” Cora gaped.
“He was annoying me!” I defended hotly. “He kept saying I should stay home and rest, but I wasn’t about to let that foul prince win.”
“So let me get this straight…” Cora began, clearly struggling to wrap her mind around this. “You were in shock, being obstinate and refusing to take care of yourself, then you attacked him, and he responded the way any wolf would?”
“Basically,” I grimaced, rubbing the back of my neck.
“Did he injure you? Traumatize you?” she inquired.
“No,” I blushed again. “It hurt, but it brought me out of my shock, and it really did help me to cry… plus, well, I was really turned on afterward.” I whispered, unable to believe I was actually sharing this part.
Cora chuckled. “So what’s the problem?”
“You don’t find that strange!?” I exclaimed.
“Ella, I’ve been around shifters a lot longer than you have,” Cora explained, sighing as though she wasn’t sure how to make me understand. “Power dynamics are a big part of their culture, and from a scientific perspective, it makes perfect sense. Dominance means strength, and strength means survival. And if you liked it, who cares whether or not other people think it’s strange? You’d hardly be the only human who’s ever wanted that from a partner.”
“I didn’t say I liked it,” I objected. “Just that it helped me… and turned me on… and I did like feeling how in control he was when I was beside myself.”
“Do you want him to do it again?” she asked, grinning mischievously.
I threw a pillow at her, laughing with faux outrage. I was only just coming to terms with the fact that I did want to be with Sinclair that way again when I remembered why I was here unloading all this on my sister in the first place. My mood dampened almost immediately. “What I want doesn’t matter.”
Cora pursed her lips. “Okay, so you haven’t been love-bombed, and he hasn’t been mistreating you, and you don’t want a relationship, right?”
“Right,” I confirmed, thankful that we’d worked through all this, but suddenly anticipating Cora’s next question.
“Then, Ella, why are you so upset about Lydia?” she asked. “You told him point-blank that you don’t want to be with him, and you agreed to step aside if he found a new mate from the beginning. I know you weren’t expecting it to be Lydia, but… so what if it is?”
“Because it means he lied to me,” I explained miserably. “It means he’s been lying to me about her for months, and that Roger was right about him running back to her at the first opportunity.”
“Are you sure they were lies?” Cora countered. “Do you think it’s possible he believed what he was telling you at the time and then changed his mind? We all have blind spots when it comes to our exes. He wouldn’t be the first person to convince himself he hated his former partner to try and protect himself from getting hurt again.”
I shrugged, suddenly doubting myself. “I don’t know. He certainly seemed to mean what he was saying at the time, but he’s also a politician; he’s bound to be a good liar.”
“He’s an alpha, not a politician. And he also has the campaign to think about; he might have been resisting her for his sake and the pack’s at once,” Cora suggested.
“Maybe,” I acknowledged, hating how logical this sounded. The longer we talked, the more I lost my justifications for being so upset, but I still felt as if my world had come crashing down around me.
“Ella?” Cora called my attention to her lovely face. Immediately, I knew she was coming to the same conclusion I was. “You snuck out of the house and ran through the night, in a thunderstorm, when people have been trying to kill you. You’ve exhausted all the possible reasons to justify this except one, and a few lies on his part hardly seem enough to warrant how devastated you are.”
“What’s your point?” I remarked sullenly, already knowing where this was going.
“Are you sure you don’t like him?” Cora asked bluntly. “Not just that you’re attracted to him or like the affection, but that you have genuine feelings for him, and you’re upset because you think he might not return your feelings now that he’s back with Lydia?”
Her words slammed into me one after the other, but before I could give them the consideration they deserved, there was a sudden pounding at the door.