Chapter 171

I froze. I hadn’t considered that. Probably not. I mean, I haven't kissed many people. Even with Jace, whom I had a crush on for ages, I only ever stole kisses when he was sick, half-asleep, or passed out drunk. And even then, it was just on his cheek or the back of his hand.

But earlier, with Hayden… our lips actually touched. That wasn't something Jace and I did much. Jace used to kiss me on the cheek or forehead, but a real kiss? Lips meeting, a real kiss? There was only one time.

I remember him saying, “Rea, we’re too close. I just can’t do it.” The truth was, he just didn’t love me enough. Someone once told me that when two people kiss, and it’s real—lips and tongues tangling—it’s all dopamine. It's supposed to be uncontrollable. If you can control it, well, that means you’re just not that into them.

“I don’t like hypotheticals,” I finally said to Hayden.

His jaw tightened, and I watched his Adam’s apple move as he swallowed. “But I want to know.”

The intensity in his eyes was so strong, I could barely breathe. I let out a sarcastic laugh. “Why’s it such a big deal? First time a girl’s kissed you?”

“Yes.”

That single word hit me like a slap, and my smile froze. A second later, I heard myself say something awful, something incredibly cruel: “Well, I’ll make it up to you.” “How?” Hayden asked, almost instantly.

I was supposed to be in control, but suddenly it felt like I was the one being manipulated. I knew exactly what kind of “make it up” he meant.

I pressed my lips together, made a decision. If I wanted to end this, to extinguish any hope he had, there was only one way.

“Hayden, we agreed this was all fake. Even the kissing. If you’re going to start catching feelings, I’ll have to find someone else.”

“Planning to switch boyfriends every day?” His voice was cold.

I gave a small, heartless smile. “It’s not what I want, but if you can’t handle it, then what choice do I have?” Hayden didn’t say a word. I could feel the chill radiating from him, as if he were trying to freeze me out.

But I pushed on, twisting the knife. “I get it, you’re all… pure. And yeah, asking you to fake this—holding hands, kissing—you’re right, I’ve been using you. So let’s end this whole fake thing right now.”

Chapter 121

I gave him a shove and pushed open the car door. He didn’t move. I rolled down the window, giving him one last look. “Not gonna leave?”

Nothing.

I was about to say more but stopped myself. Instead, I rolled up the window and slammed on the gas. As the car sped off, I glanced in the rearview mirror. Hayden was still there, standing alone in the dark. He looked abandoned, as if the world had just let him down.

For a second, guilt struck me hard. I wasn’t sure if he’d go back to his place across from mine, but I couldn’t face going home right now. I tried calling Lena again—still no answer. She was probably stuck in surgery again.

With nowhere else to go, I headed back. When I pulled up to my place, I glanced up at Hayden’s window before getting out of the car. It was pitch black, meaning he wasn’t back yet. I didn’t know where he’d gone, but I exhaled a shaky breath and stepped out of the car.

I made my way upstairs, but the second I reached my floor, I froze. Someone was standing there, in the dark hallway. Flashes of Pete following me last time flooded my mind. My body went into survival mode. Without thinking, I turned and ran.