Chapter 13-1
Howling, I was howling. I was in my wolf form, standing on a hill looking out over the most spectacular view I had ever seen, and I’m howling at the moon. There are so many things to unpack in the sentence, making me dizzy, but in a good way. The howling died out, and I tried to get a look at myself. I was much steadier on my paws, and I twisted and turned in an attempt to get a look at my body. I heard a huffing sound and looked over at Finlay’s wolf. I could swear he was laughing. His sand-colored wolf is just as mouthwatering handsome as his human form. I’m grateful he has been with me through the night. He is a good Alpha. He stood up and trotted over to me and swung his head in a gesture I thought meant he wanted me to follow him. I nodded, and he took a small path leading down towards the river. He walked up to the bank and looked down. Curious, I followed and looked down. The water was almost completely still, and the dark night sky made it into a mirror. I could see myself, and I was surprised. Not even my mother, who I had inherited my red hair from, had a wolf who looked like mine. The same red color as my hair covers most of my fur, but my face, paws, and the end of my tail fade into a cream color. My green eyes look the same. I’m big, but I had already figured that out, standing almost as tall as Finlay. I had to do some jumps just to articulate the joy I felt at that moment. Again, I could swear Finlay was laughing at me, but it’s okay. I was in my wolf form, and I was just brimming with joy and amazement. After a moment, Finlay pointed his nose up along the trail they had come. I understood it was time to head back and nodded. I was happy to calmly walk beside him through the forest. The night might have been short, but I still needed to figure out how to get back into my human body. We got to the place where I changed, and Finlay changed back to his human form and put on shorts. He smiled down at me and lifted the blanket that was still on the ground. I got the message and let him cover my body. I looked up at him; I had no idea what to do now. He seemed to understand.
“To change back, you just need to focus on your human self, on the feeling of being human,” he told me. He made it sound easy, so I tried to focus on my human side. I felt the same tingles I felt when I took on my wolf form, but this time there was no pain. And then I was lying on my stomach under the blanket, completely naked. “There you go. I knew you would be a natural,” Finlay said with a smile.
“Thank you. That was…” I started to say, but I didn’t know how to finish the sentence.
“Yeah, that’s how it feels the first time,” Finlay agreed as he handed me my clothes and, like a gentleman, turned around to let me dress. I was a little wobbly on my legs, but I found my balance. When I was dressed, I walked up to Finlay and tapped him on the shoulder. He spun around with a smile.
“Thank you,” I said. “Thank you for guiding me through this and not abandoning me.”
“It was my honor,” he told me, and I could tell he meant it. We talked as we walked back towards the fire. I found the world slightly different. My senses were sharper than they had been. Matilda was sitting in her spot, and the pups had quieted down and were either sleeping on spread-out blankets or sitting, playing. When Cadence saw us coming, he ran over to us.
“Amie! How was it? Was it as fun as you thought it would be? What did you do? Did you run? Did you hunt? You were so big! I bet you would be awesome at hunting. My dad always kills rabbits for my mom, and he will teach me how to when I shift the first time.” He fired off his questions in a rapid sequence, and I had to laugh.
“Calm down, little one. Let Amie get a word in,” Finlay said while chuckling.
“Sorry, Alpha,” the pup said, but he was still looking up at me with bright eyes.
Chapter 13-2
“How about we sit down, and I will tell you all about it,” I told him, and he looked so happy it made me smile as big as him. “Thank you again. I’m all shifted out for tonight, so go and have fun. I’ll read by the fire,” I told Finlay. He hesitated and looked like he wanted to object.
“Go on, I’ll keep an eye on her,” Matilda said before he had a chance.
“Okay,” he agreed, and then he was heading towards the forest again. I sat down with Cadence and started to tell him about my first shift. I was still in awe that I had a wolf. I could feel her inside me. Like a shadow with emotions. Matilda walked over to the table with leftover food and came back with a plate piled high and handed it to me. I had not realized how hungry I was. After I had answered most of Cadence’s questions, I went to town on the food.
“This is amazing, thank you,” I told Matilda between bites. She laughed.
“Shifting always makes you hungry, and ten times as much when it’s the first time,” she explained to me. Cadence had joined his friends, and I could hear him tell them what I had told him.
“You are very open about shifting with the young,” I said. She nodded.
“I have deduced it wasn’t the case in your old pack?” she asked.
“No, it was held as a secret. I have never questioned it, but now I don’t understand why. It would have been nice to know what to expect,” I told her. She hummed.
“Some packs like to make things more complicated than they are. We’re not like that. A pack takes after their Alpha, and Finlay is straightforward and doesn’t like secrets if they don’t serve a purpose. It’s why I followed him here. I always thought the gods mixed him and his brother up when it came to birth order. In my humble opinion, it was always clear that Finlay was the natural Alpha. When his brother took over our old pack, and Finlay chose not to fight, it was an easy decision. It was the same for most of us. I don’t know what my sister was thinking, staying behind. I can understand loving your sons equally, but it shouldn’t blind you to the truth,” Matilda said.
“I’m impressed by all of you. It takes courage to do what you did,” I said. Matilda shrugged.
“Almost as much as it takes to leave your pack behind and create a new life for yourself,” she retorted. I smiled at her.
“I only had myself to think of. You have pups and families and vulnerable people among you,” I pointed out.
“We had each other; that is what makes up a pack. It takes all of us to create a balanced pack. Jason, Finlay’s brother, didn’t see it like that. He wanted a pack with strong warriors,” Matilda told me.
“Let’s see how he likes it when all the strong warriors need to figure out who is going to clean the toilets or cook dinner,” I said. Matilda laughed.
“You get it.” She sounded pleased.
“My dad always said the most important tasks in the pack were the ones that no one thinks about until no one does them: cleaning, cooking, ordering supplies, and so on,” I told her. It had been a long time since I talked about my father, and it stung my heart.
“He sounds like a good man.”
“He was, the best Beta. At least he seemed like it to me.”
“Finlay has told us not to pressure you, and I won’t. But I will say that this pack needs wolves like you. Seeing your wolf, knowing you have grown up in a Beta family, I can now, with absolute confidence, tell you that you are a strong wolf. You belong in the top tier of the pack, and you have the experience. We need that. That is all I’m going to say,” she told me. I smiled at her.
“Thank you for saying it.” We fell into silence. It was comfortable, sitting and looking into the flames, hearing the sounds from the forest, from the pack that celebrated the full moon. I knew my shift changed things. It had been lonely living without a pack before, but it had been doable. But now, I could already feel my wolf's restlessness in being alone. She took solace in being surrounded by a pack that I could feel she trusted, but she was still restless about not being part of it. I had been almost convinced I should stay in the pack before, but now I didn’t see any other option. I wasn’t the least bit sorry about it. Sure, I would need to say goodbye to my friends, but I had already started making new ones in the pack. And here, I could shift and run in the woods without having to look over my shoulder. Then there was Finlay; I had to admit I might have a little crush on him. But could someone fault me for that? Who wouldn’t crush on a tall, yummy Alpha who was as sweet as he was strong? I knew nothing would happen between us. He hadn’t found his true mate, and neither had I. But he was still a good Alpha, I knew I wouldn’t have any issues joining his pack.