Chapter 63

Time doesn’t heal. That’s a lie. Being surrounded by people doesn’t alleviate grief. It’s not a distraction, not if you truly love the person you lost. Not when you’ve lost the only remaining member of your family to cancer. Not when you’re constantly questioning every decision, wondering if you were wrong to leave him alone after your marriage.

When I was in the city after my wedding, I missed him. But it didn't consume me then because I knew he was alive and well, surrounded by loved ones, and I visited him often.

Now, it consumes me. He’s dead.

“Sophia, sweetheart,” Leila placed a hand on my shoulder, pulling me from my thoughts. I blinked away tears before turning to Gabriel’s grandmother, who had been staying with me for six days. Six days. That’s how long it’s been since I lost him.

I gulped. “Yes?”

“Are you okay?” she asked. “You’re lost in thought again.”

“Just thinking about him,” I murmured.

“I think about him a lot, too.” Sympathy flickered in her eyes—a look I’d seen in countless eyes in this town when I stood beside my husband, watching my grandfather’s coffin lowered into the ground, in the spot he’d chosen shortly after his diagnosis.

I nodded, attempting a smile and failing. Six days felt like six months, or six years, without Gabriel. He held my hand so tightly through every moment; the second he left, I felt like I would collapse. The first two days, I couldn’t keep down any food.

“He was a good man, Sophia. And he raised a good girl.” Her hand reached for mine, and this time I managed a smile, however forced. “Alister and I are always here for you. We are your family, okay?”

I nodded, the smile widening slightly.

“Is there anything he’d like us to do? I know he wasn’t very religious, but he spoke passionately about a few charities. We’ve made donations in his name, but if there’s anything else…” her voice trailed off.

I shook my head. “You’ve done so much. Thank you.”

“Nonsense. Family doesn’t thank each other, and that’s what we are, right?”

I nodded. My grandfather wasn’t particularly religious; he believed in Jesus, but that was the extent of it. Nevertheless, we held a prayer service, a church ceremony, and the priest performed all the necessary rites. I’ve been going to church every day, lighting a candle, but leaving town and returning to the city doesn’t feel right yet.

I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to this house, even though I had the keys and could visit anytime. It would never feel the same, and I wasn’t ready to face that. So I stayed, and so did Gabriel and his grandparents. They’d known my grandfather for a long time, and Alister seemed to have lost a part of himself the day he saw him dead. So had I.

“The lawyer was here,” I told Leila. “He read Grandpa’s will. I have a few documents to sign tomorrow, but otherwise, nothing’s holding me back. I just don’t feel like leaving yet.”

“Of course, that’s understandable. Alister had to leave today due to a work emergency, but Gabriel and I are here as long as you need us. I like it here, too. I feel closer to him.”

I smiled. “I should check on Gabriel.”

She nodded and smiled back as I headed upstairs. Gabriel was shouting on a call when I entered.

“Can you get a SINGLE thing right? A SINGLE—” He yelled, his eyes flashing to me. “You know what? Don’t piss me off. I’ll do it myself when I get back.” He hung up, striding toward me. His hands grasped my shoulders, rubbing them. “Are you okay, Freckles? Have you eaten lunch?”

I nodded. “I’m fine, Gabriel.”

He glared.

“No, really. I’m okay today. The lawyer read the will. It’s finally sinking in.”

“Oh, baby, I’m so sorry.” He pulled me into his arms. I breathed in his scent, the only thing keeping me sane lately.

“I inherited a house in London,” I told him.

His eyebrows furrowed. “I didn’t know you had a house in London.”

“Neither did I,” I chuckled. “Apparently, my father bought it when we were planning to move, and he paid the mortgage until he died. Grandpa didn’t understand much about finances, and I was too young to understand it, but Dad must have taken care of it because it’s paid off. It’s weird that Grandpa never mentioned it because if I’d known, I would have sold it instead of marrying for money.”

“Hey,” he narrowed his eyes, “If you’d done that, you wouldn’t have met me.”

“Mm. Now that’s a problem, isn’t it?” I looked up at him.

“Big problem.” He smiled, kissing my lips and pulling away. “I missed this.”

I tugged at his shirt. “I missed more than this.”

“Then let’s do more than this.” He kissed me again, and I moaned softly, melting into his arms.

“We can’t,” I reminded him. “Your grandmother is downstairs.”

“We both know you can be quiet.” He smirked, turning me, moving my hair aside, kissing my neck, and removing my trousers as his hand covered my mouth, muffling my moans and screams.

That was the first time in four days that I’d forgotten my grief, even for a brief moment.

When we lay in bed—me exhausted from lack of food and expended energy, him because he liked holding me naked—I mumbled, “You can go home if you want.”

“I’m not leaving you alone.”

“I won’t be alone; Leila will be here.”

“Come with me,” he sighed. “Let’s go home. Everything in this house is making you sad. I can’t see you like this.”

“I need to sign the lawyer’s documents tomorrow. I think… I think I’ll be ready to go after that.”

“Then we’ll go when you’re ready.”

“You’re missing work, Gabe.”

He kissed my forehead. “More important.”

A genuine smile spread across my lips. “Go. I insist. I know you’re in the middle of an important deal. I won’t be alone. I’ll call Alice, and Leila is here. And my bodyguard and the security patrol.”

“Can never be too sure after you were kidnapped here. And there are so many strangers coming to pay their respects.” He groaned. “And I’m not leaving without you. What’s Alice going to do if your kidnapper shows up? Read him a book?”

“Hey!” I slapped his forearm. “She’s not that nerdy.”

“Please.” He snickered. “Not leaving you.”

I smiled wider, hiding my face in the crook of his neck. His phone rang.

He groaned, turning away from me. The second his touch left my skin, I felt the loss acutely. I was becoming obsessed with this man. For four days, I’d been on the verge of telling him I loved him, but I didn’t want him to think it was grief talking. It wasn’t. I loved him long before I even realized it.

He sat on the bed, staring ahead with furrowed brows. His phone had stopped ringing, but he seemed lost in thought. I couldn’t help but peek at the phone when it rang again.

Lily Grant.

My heart skipped a beat, then sank, especially when he answered. “Hello?” “Hm?” “Yes.” “No.” “I can’t…” “Just—fuck. Okay.” “Okay.” “Yes, I said.” He hung up.

I retreated to my side of the bed. “Is something wrong?” I whispered.

“It was just work, Freckles. A work emergency. The same one Alister left for.” He lied blatantly, and I think my heart stopped when I had to nod, pretending I hadn’t seen the caller ID.

“Do you have to go?” I whispered.

“Yes, I’m sorry, sweetheart.” He leaned to kiss my forehead, his hand reassuringly pressing mine. “I’ll double the security, make sure you’re safe every hour, okay? You won’t be alone for even a minute. I’ll see you at home tomorrow, yes?”

“I’ll see you.” I meekly nodded.

Then he pulled away his hand as if it hadn't been meant to hold mine.