Chapter 817

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As soon as I said it, I realized how thoughtless I’d been, and embarrassment crept over me.

Ryan lowered his eyes to the table, then raised his gaze to meet mine. “What do you want to know?”

His eyes were so deep and unreadable that I started to feel uneasy. Two years without contact—what am I even doing here, searching for some sense of importance?

No way could I be arrogant enough to think Ryan had just been waiting for me all this time.

And honestly, what right do I have to be by his side now?

There was always Edward standing between us. Besides, back then, I was hopelessly infatuated with him—like a love-starved fish, clinging to every drop of affection he gave me.

“How did you get that mark on your forehead?” I asked, my gaze gently landing on the spot above his brow.

Ryan said offhandedly, “I just tripped and hit it.”

“Was life out West hard on you? I can tell your whole presence has changed,” I said, picturing how a spoiled rich boy must’ve been forced into the army and come out completely different.

“Yeah, it was tough, but it was exactly what I needed to lick my wounds,” Ryan replied, stepping closer to me. “You, though, hardly changed at all—and somehow, you’re even more gorgeous than before.”

Ryan’s compliment didn’t make me happy at all.

“Before he passed, my grandpa kept saying how much he regretted not seeing me get married. Guess I wasn’t exactly the perfect grandson,” Ryan said with a bitter, self-deprecating smile.

I felt ashamed and murmured, “He’d never hold that against you. He always believed in you.”

“You think so?” Ryan blinked, shaken for a moment. “Truth is, I upset him so much over some stupid romance, I nearly gave him a heart attack and lost him for good.”

I stood there, totally stunned. “Wait, are you saying your grandpa had a close call two years ago?”

Ryan’s expression shifted, a shadow of pain crossing his face as he nodded. “It happened right after you left. I chased you all the way to the airport, hoping to catch you before you were gone. That’s when my grandpa collapsed and was rushed to the hospital.”

My chest tightened, and it felt like I couldn’t breathe at all.

God, what did I do?

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered, guilt heavy in my voice.

“It’s all in the past now. None of this is your fault,” Ryan said calmly, a hint of reflection in his eyes. “I guess I was just stubborn, always telling myself I was somehow different from everyone else.”

Right now, I felt way too ashamed to even stand in front of him.

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“Looks like the rain’s letting up. Oh, I just remembered–my mom wanted me to pick up groceries. Ryan, it really was nice seeing you again, but I should head out,” I said softly, not trusting myself to linger a second longer.

Back then, my stubbornness tore apart whatever bond there was between him and Edward. Now, all I could do was slip away for good–leave them and their world behind.

As I reached the door, Ryan suddenly stopped me with a question. “Did you ever think about me at all these past two years?”

I stood at the doorway, my back to him, pressing my lips together, trying to hold myself together.

For these two years, my mind was an absolute mess. During the day, I buried myself in work; at night, I got pulled back into old feelings and memories I couldn’t shake.

I found myself cursing whatever mistakes I’d made in my previous life, blaming others, and then turning that blame inward, wondering why I always treated love so carelessly.

“Ryan, I was mostly just… worried about you. How you were managing in a new place. Maybe… maybe it was just curiosity.” My voice trailed off, uncertain.

Before I could even finish, Ryan was already standing behind me. “So I did cross your mind? That makes me really happy,” he said quietly.

I turned around and caught a glimpse of something in his eyes–something I just couldn’t read. He smiled at me and said, “Didn’t you say you need to buy groceries for your mom? Go on, take care of that first.”

“Yeah… Bye.” I mumbled, practically bolting out the door, not daring to look back even once.

I sat in the car for a while, staring into space and waiting for my nerves to settle before finally driving to the supermarket.

I grabbed some groceries and went home. My mom whipped up her signature home-cooked meal, but I just ate in a daze–none of it tasted like anything to me.