Chapter 123
I asked him, even though I didn't really want to know the answer. I just wanted him to feel a fraction of the pain I'd endured.
“Jonathan, you have no right to ask me that! Don't you already know why I tried to kill myself by cutting my wrist?” I said sharply.
“I thought you were just throwing a tantrum,” he replied.
After a long pause, he said, “Elise, you’ve thrown many tantrums before, but you’ve never…”
“Exactly,” I interrupted with a bitter laugh. “In your eyes, I’m always just being dramatic. Every time, it was just me trying to get your attention. Even if I actually died, you’d still see it as nothing more than another stunt, wouldn’t you?”
Jonathan said nothing, remaining silent for a long while. It was as if he had never imagined that I would really do something like this. He held my face tightly, and I could feel the tension in his touch, along with the storm of emotions he was trying to suppress. I had never seen him like this before. Jonathan was always calm and controlled. He rarely let his emotions show. But in that moment, I caught a glimpse of a wild beast trapped inside him—ready to break free at any second.
Between us, only heavy silence remained. The cold air was suffocating.
After a while, he finally said, “I’ll have the doctor come take a look at you.”
After saying that, he didn’t move. He held my hand, staring intently at the wound on my wrist. I started to feel uneasy and tried to pull away. Jonathan’s grip was firm, as if he wouldn’t take no for an answer, yet he was careful not to touch the wounded area.
Seeing him like that made my frustration boil over. I turned my head away—if I couldn’t see him, maybe I wouldn’t feel so frustrated.
Just then, Alicia came in with the doctor. She had been waiting a long time. When Jonathan still hadn’t come out, she finally lost patience and came in to check on us. Her intentions weren’t hard to guess. She just didn’t want Jonathan and me alone together. And honestly, I had no idea what she thought she was trying to prove. I was Jonathan’s legal wife, and he hadn’t shown the slightest intention of divorcing me. If I hadn’t suddenly lost my memory and started pushing him away, maybe we would still be caught in this toxic cycle of love and hate. We would keep hurting each other, but never even consider separating. We were so caught up in that constant push and pull that, by then, it probably wasn't even love anymore. It was just hate, repeated over and over again. The more I thought about it, the more ridiculous it all seemed.
I saw Alicia trailing behind the doctor, wearing a worried expression. “Jonathan, is she alright?” she asked gently. She had changed into a fresh outfit. Her long, dark hair was neatly tied back, giving her the quiet elegance of someone fragile and untouched. She hovered nervously at the doorway. “I heard Ms. Sawyer got hurt. Is it serious? Do we need to go to the hospital? If you want, I can come with you…”
I expected Jonathan to comfort her immediately. But to my surprise, he didn’t even glance at her. With his back still facing her, he said coldly, “You should go back and rest. This doesn’t concern you.”
I raised an eyebrow in surprise. I didn’t expect him to speak to Alicia like that. Wasn’t he always the kindest and most indulgent toward her?
Alicia bit her lip, looking pitiful. “I feel bad. I’m worried that I caused another fight between you two. If that’s the case, I’ll explain to Ms. Sawyer myself—even if she still misunderstands me…”