Chapter 221: I’ll Give You My Virginity, OK?

Susan fled Henry’s apartment, running recklessly into the road. She could accept anyone but Henry urging her to marry Manuel; it was Henry's rejection that she couldn't bear.

Tears blurred her vision, and she didn't notice the red light. Walking alone, she heard a sharp horn. A car was speeding toward her. She wondered if death would finally release her from Manuel and the pressure to marry him, if people would finally understand her hatred, and if they would regret their actions. She stood frozen, watching the car approach.

The driver slammed on the brakes with a screech, stopping inches from her. Susan stared blankly.

The driver rolled down his window and yelled, "Are you fucking blind?! It's a red light! What the hell are you doing?!"

For a moment, she considered ending her life. Then, instinctively, she took a step back, probably saving herself. She thought of her dying mother, frail and clutching her hand, whispering, "Susan, promise me you’ll live well." The shame of suicide would be unbearable. Dying for someone like Manuel wasn't worth it. Gritting her teeth, she turned and walked away.

The driver cursed and drove off.

Susan hailed a cab to the hospital, determined to confront Manuel. Having escaped death, she needed another solution. She found Manuel's room empty; Justine was likely with Edward, and Manuel had dismissed the nurses.

Manuel looked up as she entered, his expression shifting. Susan met his gaze impassively.

"Susan," Manuel said, breaking the silence.

"Do you have to?" Susan asked.

Manuel avoided her eyes.

"Manuel, I hated you," Susan said, tears welling. "Because of your mother, my family broke apart, and my mother never saw my father again before she died!"

She had cried incessantly for days. "I hate your mother, so I hate you. I couldn't do anything about your mother, so I took it out on you. I wished I could kick you and your mother out of our house," she continued, her voice calmer now. "But I won't kick you out, force your mother to divorce my father, or hate you anymore. I'll leave the entire Phillips family to you; I won't take a penny..."

Manuel listened, watching her unravel.

"Can you please just let me go?" Susan pleaded.

She had never before demeaned herself, begging anyone, let alone compromising with him. Yet, he refused.

"Susan, I'm too selfish to let you go," he said.

"But I don't love you. I mean it!" Susan insisted. "I don't love you at all, Manuel. I kissed you impulsively and regretted it terribly. I love Henry, always have."

"I don't need you to love me," Manuel said indifferently. "I just want you."

"Why do you do this, Manuel?" Susan exclaimed. "Since when have you become such a bastard?"

"That's who I really am. I love you, so I pretended to be a nice guy. But this is the real me."

Susan smiled, a bewildered, almost resigned smile. She'd lost her mother and her family was shattered, yet she'd often felt fortunate. She'd been so lucky to meet Henry. Would all of that be lost now?

Approaching Manuel, she stood close.

"Manuel, do you like me?" she asked.

He didn't answer, but they both knew the answer was yes.

"A man likes a woman because he wants to have sex with her, right? I’ll give you my virginity, okay? Can you please just let me go?" she asked sadly.

Manuel finally met her gaze.

"Well, men are the same," Susan said, beginning to undress.

Manuel was taken aback. Before he could speak, Susan kissed him. He was badly wounded; his left leg was partially functional, but his right was numb.

This kiss, unlike the impulsive one she'd previously given him, was deliberate, possessive. She insisted the earlier kiss meant nothing; this was different.

Manuel pushed her away. "Please don't do this, Susan."

Susan buried her face in his neck, tears streaming down.

"Manuel, you can't bring yourself to hurt me, right?" she said.

Manuel swallowed.

"You don't think we can continue with sex, right?" Susan asked, her tone hopeful.

Manuel swallowed again. It wasn't him; she was the one who couldn't continue. How could she have sex with a man she didn't love?