Chapter 273 Lila

Still echoing in the air were Aurora’s words about the note: “We need to figure this out. But this… this changes things.”

Cool evening air; lanterns were dancing around the packhouse while soft music meandered around. The pack joined for a gentle night with tales and in high spirits. I hung on the edges and watched, through the light of the full moon, as wolves danced around and told their tales with so much laughter.

In their joy and fun, my restlessness stirred from somewhere within me—an uncomfortable stirring in my heart filled with guilt and longing. Rowan’s laugh caught my ear, deep and warm as he spoke with Warrick. My chest tightened at the sight of him, how easily he moved among them now, the pack finally accepting him again. It made my presence feel heavier, my secrets darker.

“Lila, you’ve been quiet all evening,” Piper’s voice pulled me from my thoughts. Her tone was light, but her gaze was searching, as if she observes everyone.

“Just tired,” I said quickly, forcing a smile onto my face. “It’s been a long day.”

She nodded and moved on, but her eyes lingered that half second longer before leaving me. Slowly, I let my breath out, reaching for another drink to do something with my hands. The hum of life pulsed through the packhouse, and I felt myself drinking far more than I’d planned on, a burning warmth in my chest. Edges dulled, along with my restraints.

Sometime during the celebration, Rowan walked over to me while I was getting high from the drink and the frustration that I was experiencing within.

“Having a good time?” he asked casually.

I nodded, focusing on his words and trying to avoid the twist of something deep inside of me at the gentle sound of his tone. “It’s nice to see everyone relaxed for once.”

His eyes softened. “You should try it sometime. Relaxing, I mean.”

I laughed. It was a foreign sound to my own ears. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

As the long night wore on, dizzy and growing more so in my brain after a lot of drinks, I drifted. My feet were carrying me along the silent corridors of the packhouse, of their own accord or so it felt, and I opened a door on the now familiar view of Rowan’s room.

I froze, heart pounding, drinking in the space: simple, and yet so very, singularly his. The scent of pine and that uniquely Rowan scent filled the air, pulling me in ways I hadn’t expected. The pull was undeniable. I stepped inside, the door clicking shut behind me.

He entered a moment later, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “Lila? What are you doing here?”

“I….” The words tumbled in my mouth, my cheeks sizzling as I struggled to explain.

His eyes gentled with concern. “Are you okay? You don’t look like yourself.”

The weight of his kindness was too much to bear. I’m filled with the surge of recklessness, the urge to close the space between us. Yet the guilt clawed at me, Calla’s shadow large in my mind.

“I shouldn’t have come here,” I said, taking a step back.

But his face grew even more disturbed without any pressure from him. “You can always talk to me, you know,” he said in calm tones.

His words fractured something inside, and I spoke suddenly, my words shaking, “Why is it that you’re so kind?”

He raised an eyebrow, taken aback. “That’s just who I am.”

“I don’t deserve it,” I whispered, crumbling finally.

He stepped closer; his voice was low. “Everybody deserves a little kindness, Lila. Even you.”

There was so much sincerity in his voice, as though he couldn’t hold himself back anymore. I whirled around and fled from the room before the stormy mood overtook me in an uncontrollable feeling.

My room was silent, heavy. The festival outside was reduced, and for that at least, I was grateful. My heart was racing yet from what had almost happened in Rowan’s room, from his kindness too much because it sent a light into the darkest corner of my soul that I wished to keep well hidden.

I sat at the edge of my bed and caught something off guard on the pillow: a slight slip of paper folded up neatly. My chest immediately constricted; I reached out for it. My fingers began to shake.

I unfolded the note slowly; the words scrawled in Calla’s hallmark sharp handwriting:

“You’re running out of time, Lila. Deliver results, or I’ll deliver your secrets.”

My breath had caught in my throat, heavier than it should have been, and the weight of all the sins I had committed were now condensed into these few words.

“You are running out of time,” I told myself as fingers wrapped tightly, my anger and fear bubbling over.

The knock sent shivers; the sudden intrusion of sound shattered the stillness, as would glass that falls and splinters into a myriad pieces.

The beating in my heart quickened as, fast, I thrust the note amidst folds of the robe.

“Lila?” the other voice came, soft and haltingly.

It was Piper.

Taking one or two moments by wiping anything quickly off my face, “Come in.”

She came in, her usual energy reduced. Her eyes scanned the room, locking onto the stiffness of my figure.

“Are you okay?” she asked, furrowing her brow.

I forced a smile onto my lips. “Just tired. It’s been a long day.”

Piper didn’t look convinced, but she nodded. “I just wanted to check on you. You seemed off earlier.”

“I’m fine,” I said shortly, my voice sharper than I meant it to be.

Her eyes narrowed slightly, but she didn’t push it further. “If you say so.” She was silent for a beat before her voice came again. “We’re all here if you need us, Lila. You don’t have to carry whatever it is alone.”

Her words hit inside of me hard, and the gnaw of guilt twisted in my stomach. I nodded, unable to meet her gaze. “Thanks.”

She was no sooner out the door than I had the lock turned behind her and sagged against it, my legs giving out.

Calla’s note seared into my brain, and her threats were playing on an endless loop inside my mind: “Deliver results, or I’ll deliver your secrets.”

I mashed my face against my hands, the double life closing in on me from all sides. Unless I did something soon, it all would come crashing down, and this time, I wouldn’t come out unscathed.