Chapter 30 AURORA

Violence.

I wanted, with all my heart, all my soul, all my body, to do something violent to Esther Reed.

Never in my life had I experienced such a blind rage.

I held on to that anger, because if I didn’t, I would fall to the ground and cry.

“Why?” I asked. My fists were clenched so tightly my arms trembled. “Why are you doing this? Why won’t you just let me go?”

Esther looked confused. “You were getting too close to the enemy.”

“Too close?” I nearly shrieked. “You and Papa–I mean Waylon–are the ones who forced me to marry him!”

“You were supposed to marry him, Ann,” Esther almost sounded like she was pouting. “You weren’t supposed to forget everything about this family and who you are. Who you serve. What your purpose is.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about!”

Esther smiled. It was a smile I remembered–the smile she used when she wanted me to believe she was a good, loving mother.

“Untie me, sweetie. I’ve got some things I want to show you.”

With no other choice, I did. I untied her. Then I let her lead me somewhere I’d never been: the Reeds’ new “pack house.”

“This is where you live?” I asked. We were near the top of a low mountain. To the east, the sun was turning the sky pink with dawn. I was exhausted, sad, angry, confused… I needed to get to my babies. I needed Trajan. I needed sleep.

Instead, I was in the wilderness, following the woman who had spent my childhood abusing me, because it seemed like life always brought me back to her, and I had no other choice.

It was a system of caves not far from the one where they’d put me and Dane. Close enough, in fact, I wondered if they connected.

They’d walled off the front and built a door. The wall was surprisingly solid. Then again, the Reeds had always been deep woods folk. For all they were ruthless warriors, they were also skilled with their hands.

“Come in,” she said, and opened the door.

To my shock, the inside of the cave was warm, dry, and comfortable. There was a large main cavern with several dark tunnels branching off. Lanterns hung on the wall at intervals, lighting things.

A few pack members looked up as we entered. They were scattered around, lounging or reading or working on small things like woodcarving or sewing.

The scene was like one right out of my childhood. We’d always lived too far in the mountains for things like television or the internet. Only a few of the adults had cell phones. So, the pack found ways to entertain itself.

She led me past them. A few people glared at me. A few gave me secretive smiles. Many of them ignored me, like I’d just been out on a hunt and returned like normal.

What the hell?

Esther picked up one of the lanterns and led me down one of the tunnels. I was too numb to be afraid she was finally going to kill me.

If I knew Esther, she never wanted me to die. She enjoyed my suffering too much for that.

She led me to a room that was surprisingly plush. Part of the cave opened to a little grotto with a waterfall, and there was a large, soft mattress covered in thick furs. There were rugs all over the floor, and the rising sun shone through window-like holes to the outside.

“This is my room with your papa,” she said. She walked over to one of the shelves and pulled down a wooden crate, then set it down. “These are the things you left behind.”

The past seemed to rise up and surround me as I approached and gently touched the worn wolf stuffie toy on top of the box. It was gray and white, with black buttons for eyes. It sat with its head tipped back, like it was howling.

“Winter,” I said. I had to resist the urge from deep inside to pick it up and hold it. Instead, I shifted it aside. There were more things in the box: a few old clothes, a pair of worn-out sneakers.

At the bottom, there was a leather-bound journal.

It wasn’t ancient like the one that held the secret relic Dane and I were so eager to uncover. This one looked like it was ten or fifteen years old. It had my name scrawled across the front in messy handwriting.

My handwriting, from when I was a girl.

“Go on,” Esther said. “Read it.”

Inside, a voice screamed not to, that there were things in this journal I didn’t want to see. Things I didn’t want to know. Memories that stirred at the back of my mind, dark and sinister.

I flipped open to a random page.

4/5/18

My lessons are going well. Mother said I’ll be ready soon. Connall Montague took our land, but we’re going to take it back from his son and grandson. The grandson, Dane, is my age. I can’t wait to make him pay for what his family has…

I slammed the journal closed and threw it back in the crate. “I didn’t write that,” I insisted.

But in this place, surrounded by the people and things I’d grown up with, some of those memories weren’t so faded anymore.

I could remember, now: the anger, the hatred for the wolf who went rogue from the Broken Forest pack, then came back with a pack of his own and started pushing us off territory we’d been on for three hundred years.

Territory that was sacred to our family.

“You wrote it,” Esther insisted. “You can read more if you like. It’s all there: your training, the plans we had. We were going to give you a little silver poisoning, then use you as a distraction for Dane.”

Her face turned sad. “We thought our plan worked. He abandoned his post with you. But by the time we found you, you were half-dead, beaten. You seemed to have forgotten everything. We didn’t know if…what he’d done to you. Making him marry you was the only honorable thing we could do.”