Chapter 180

I looked at Toya and walked over to Rowan. “My king, is everything okay?”

Toya gave a nod. “I’m going to check out the rest of your new place.” She bowed really quickly and then left us in the entryway.

“Sterling?” I looked down at my watch. “I don’t know when everyone will get here. Can you go check for me, please?”

“Of course, Alpha Amy.” Sterling also gave a bow and then turned and left.

Rowan looked after Toya before he turned to look down at me. “Are you going to tell her?”

I nodded. “I feel like I need to.”

Rowan took a big breath. “Okay. Who else are you telling? I want to make sure no one else has lost anyone, that way you don’t give anyone hope.”

I hadn’t even thought about that. “Hanna, Wendy, and Micca.”

“Who?” Rowan furrowed his brows.

I opened my mouth, but I realized I didn’t know what pack they were from. “Toya…” I called out, and Rowan laughed.

“You don’t know their packs?”

“Look, I met Hanna in the bathroom, but she is the short, unranked wolf from overseas. Wendy is the secretary’s daughter. Micca is a small redhead from a neighboring pack to Nina’s. Toya’s pack was taken in by my father.” I felt like I was forgetting someone.

“Thora is the gamma from unranked wolves, but something about her doesn’t sit right with me.” Toya walked out, and I pointed.

Thora, I had forgotten Thora. But just as I thought to call her over, I felt a punch to my gut. “She isn’t to be included.”

“Thora?” Rowan furrowed his brows. “You are sure she said her name was Thora?”

I nodded. “Black hair, blue eyes, beautiful.”

I watched Rowan’s face darken. “Don’t speak to her.”

“Why?” I wasn’t going to anyway, but something about the way his face clouded over pushed me to ask.

“She is a gamma in my pack,” he answered. “Her parents served my father before he passed, and I kept them on after. Their daughter, Thora, grew into being a second gamma, but because her parents worked in my pack house, she was close to me. Or she thought she was close to me.” Rowan wiped his face. “I’m sorry. I thought she got over this…obsession.”

“What?” I laughed. “What does that have to do with me?”

“She probably heard things from Nina and decided you were close to me.” He grimaced. “Moving you here probably hasn’t helped.”

“She knows I moved in here?”

Rowan shook his head. “But this kind of thing doesn’t stay under wraps for long.” He sighed. “My advice is to stay away from her as much as you can.” He wiped his eyes. “And for goddess’s sake, tell her nothing.”

“I promise. I will even command everyone to keep their mouths shut,” I offered.

“Thank you.” He sagged against the wall, and Toya walked off again. “I’m wiped, but I wanted to check on you.”

“Everything is okay here.”

He laughed. “Your things are outside your door, but things are okay?”

I shrugged a shoulder. “The only people up here are us, and I trust us.” I smiled as I watched the words land.

“Thank you for trusting me.”

“Of course. You are my king.”

Rowan cut me a look. “That’s not what I meant.”

“I know, and I didn’t mean it either. But I have to poke at you some way.” I smiled and walked closer. “How are you doing?”

“I’m fine,” he answered automatically.

I focused on the air around us, and I felt a barrier snap into place. “It’s just us.” I grabbed for his hand. “How are you really doing?”

Rowan looked down at our hands clasped together and then back to me, and I watched his facade break. His shoulders slumped, and his face fell. I watched his eyes take on this haunted look. “Not great.”

“Talk to me.” I stepped closer and wrapped my arm around his, leaning against his shoulder. I didn’t even think of it, but I also did this with my dad, with Ronnie. I could hear Rowan draw in a breath and then let it out slowly.

“I failed them. They are dead because I haven’t figured everything out yet, and telling everyone today that everyone they love is completely gone…” I heard him swallow. “I just failed them. And now I have to go on and face these people like this is completely normal.”

I tightened my arms around his. “In our world, it is.” I looked up at him, and I swore I could see tears fighting to spill over, but in one blink, they were gone. “You haven’t failed anyone. You were handed a tangled mess when you were a child, and you have been stuck trying to figure it out since then. I know today was hard, but no one can accuse you of not understanding what they feel.” He looked at me. “This mess started with you losing not just your family, but your entire race. No one has lost more than you. You haven’t failed. And I won’t let you.”