Chapter 195

The next few weeks passed in a whirlwind of class, training, and silence. I dragged myself through the door after yet another long day. I dropped my dinner onto my coffee table and face-planted onto my couch, and groaned.

I was exhausted. I wasn’t sleeping properly, and in between classes and the double training, I was running on hopes and dreams at this point. I rolled over with a groan. “Fuck.”

My phone gave a tiny ding, and I scrambled to pull it out of my pocket. It was a quick text from Wendy telling me she made it home. I tossed my phone away with another groan.

This time, I sat up and screamed. “I’m so fucking stupid!” I gripped my head in my hands and pulled at my hair. "Goddess, how could I be so stupid?" I stood and stalked my way to the bathroom connected to my bedroom and stripped off my clothes.

“You’re not stupid," Megan offered, but Nix stayed silent.

I jumped under the hot spray and instantly crumpled to the floor. I leaned my head against my knees, and for the first time since coming back to my moms, I cried.

“I’m being so stupid, and weak.”

“You are not. You’re allowed to have feelings,” Megan came closer.

But I just shook my head. “Feelings make us weak. We already took this path. I gave myself fully to my mate, and he killed me. He used my emotions against me and killed our pup. And now here I am, mooning over a man who doesn’t even like me.” The tears burned, but at least the fall of the shower hid them. “I’m crying because he hasn’t messaged me or emailed me in weeks. And I know he’s busy, Megan, I do, and I know I am the last thing he has to worry about, but…” My words trailed off as fresh tears fell.

“But you wish he would,” Nix finished as she slunk out of the trees, and I just nodded.

“Is it too much to ask to have someone want me for me? Not for my power, my aura, or what I could do for them, just me?”

“Of course not," Megan tried to make me feel better. "You are amazing.”

“Just not amazing enough,” I whispered as a sob broke free.

“Amy…” Nix tried, but I shook my head.

“It’s okay. I’m giving myself two more minutes to pity myself. Two more minutes to cry, and then I’m going to get up, shower, eat, and go to bed.”

“You need to sleep,” Megan agreed.

“Just two minutes.” I huddled on my shower floor and released the floodgates. I allowed myself to feel the loss, even though he was never mine to begin with. After I counted to one hundred and twenty seconds, I wiped my face and got to my feet. I started my shower routine and stared at the tile.

“Amy?” Nix came closer, but I shook my head.

“That was the last time I will cry over any man.” I swiped at the invisible tears on my face and gave a small, sad laugh. “It was a foolish thought to begin with.”

“No, it wasn’t." Megan pushed against the wall, and Nix sat next to her. "He gave little hints that he liked us.”

I gave another little laugh. “But hints mean nothing compared to action and words.” I grabbed for my shampoo, missing my old scent. “I got so wrapped up in the hints, I was missing what he was showing me.”

Chapter 195

“Amy…” Nix pressed closer.

“It’s okay. I’m okay, or I will be. I can stop focusing on the fact he isn’t reaching out and focus on the plan.” Both of my wolves looked at each other.

“Okay. If that is what you want,” Megan offered.

“We can help you keep on track,” Nix offered.

I smiled. I could feel their souls like they could feel mine, and I knew they were hurting for me. I could feel our souls swirling around each other, each of us trying to shield the other from the pain we all would feel. Megan felt hers when she had to ignore her mate. I’m feeling mine, with a man I want, not wanting me back. Nix, when she felt our pup being ripped from our body.

“We have all been shattered," Megan started.

"But it is how we pull ourselves back together that matters,” Nix offered.

“You’re right.” I stretched my arms up and then shut off the water. This wouldn’t break me. “Now let’s eat. I’m starving.” I wrapped my hair up and walked out of the bathroom in my towels. I headed to the front room, to my dinner, but I had to stop at the end of the hallway to yawn. My jaw cracked, and I groaned as I went into a full-body stretch. I shook my head and groaned. “Fuck, I’m tired.”

“You look it.” A dark voice called from my sofa, and I screamed as my eyes snapped open.