Chapter 258

My heat took a full week to disappear. And the entire time I cried for Rowan; I needed his touch, but I was left alone, chained to the wall of my bedroom. The pain was excruciating, but it still never compared to the pain of giving birth, which I still remembered viscerally. But both now and then paled in comparison to having my newborn pup laying on my chest, struggling to breathe, only to be ripped from me.

I wanted to be mad at Rowan. I actually wanted to hate him. I lay in my bed, burning from the heat, the pain setting my nerves on fire, knowing that his touch, anyone’s touch, would save me. But he was right. I would have regretted it after it was said and done. I screamed all day, all night. I couldn’t eat, I barely slept. Wendy and Toya were there to help with anything I needed.

Micca and Hanna came and visited, but they handled everything outside of the apartment for me, ensuring everything was in place for the start of the second year. They handled the shopping, the rumors, everything that might pop up, they handled. They also brought the girls’ dinner, so they didn’t have to leave me.

Which I was thankful for. Because the only sleep I got the entire week was when one of them held me through the night. They dealt with my sobs, my anger, my pleading. Through it all, they were understanding. The first couple of days, they tried to talk to me about Rowan, but I had to ask them eventually if they could stop.

The heat came in waves; I went from sobbing uncontrollably, begging someone to help me, to having a small break to pull myself together. The back-and-forth swing was so violent, so fast, it was wreaking havoc on my system. I went from hot flash to freezing, excruciating pain to numbness. I had flashes of memories when the heat faded enough for me to be coherent, to a weird jumble of memories of freezing water, crying and full of need.

On the morning of the seventh day, I woke up cool to the touch and coherent enough to crack my eyes open and sit up. Toya shifted, rolling over to look at me. “Good morning.” I looked at my best friend, and I broke down. “Amy, what’s wrong?” She pushed up from the bed and wrapped her arm around my shoulder.

I laughed. “What’s wrong?” I looked at her. “What is right, Toya?”

“What do you mean?” She was looking at me like I was a bomb that might go off at any moment.

And for the last week, I was. I felt guilt crawl up my throat. “Our families are in hiding. My mom is surrounded by men trying to control her. We are stuck here at school. Someone is working with the rogues to overthrow our king, and I just spent the last week begging a man to want me.” I closed my eyes and shook my head. “We still don’t know why Thinus killed himself instead of coming clean, and I have a feeling that everything is going to get a lot worse before it gets any better.”

Toya sighed and rubbed my arm. “Yeah. I have the same feeling, but you are worried about everything all at once. Let’s get up and regroup. Make a solid plan. We have class starting tomorrow, too.” I groaned and wiped at my face. I couldn’t focus on this right now. “Are you okay now?” She turned my face and looked closely. “I think you’re past everything. How are you actually feeling, body-wise?”

I thought for a moment and then sighed. “My mind is going a million miles a minute, but physically? I’m a little sore, tired, starving, and I could probably chug a bathtub worth of water. It could be worse.” I pushed back the covers and stood, stretching. The cool air touched my naked skin, and I shivered. I looked down to see I was still in just my underwear. I turned to look at Toya and gestured to my body.

She laughed. “You have no idea how hard it was to keep you in this.” She stood. “Now go shower. For someone that spent a week in the tub, you stink.”

I slapped my hand on my chest. “That hurts.” She laughed again and pushed me towards the bathroom.

“Fully shower, your hairy ass legs gave me rug burn.”

“Wow, you’re mean in the morning.” I called as I walked into the washroom. I turned the water as hot as I could take it, then I stripped. I turned to face the mirror and shook my head. I looked like I lost twenty pounds. I stepped under the spray and settled my racing mind. “How are you two doing?”

My wolves staggered from the woods, skinnier than they were before. We need to talk. Nix’s words held a new bite.