The tub finished draining as Carly stood there, and I nodded. โYeah. Yeah, he is.โ She shivered as I turned the warm water back on, allowing the tub to refill. But I doubt she felt any of it. I helped her back into the water and squeezed more shampoo into her hair, the water barely changing color this time. After I rinsed, I added the conditioner. I knew I was stalling. What do I say to a kid who just lost everything? โCarlyโฆโ She barely registered me, but her eyes finally met mine. โI wonโt lie to you and tell you that the pain, this hurt, will go away anytime soon.โ She whimpered, her little lip trembling as she turned to face me fully. โPain like this, loss like this. Itโs going to hurt for a very long time.โ How do you explain this kind of loss to a child?
But she nodded. โI donโt think Iโll ever not miss my daddy.โ
I cupped her face. โAnd that is okay.โ I wiped her tears. โBut Daddy wants you to be okay. And he wants you to be happy. Right?โ She nodded as she bit her bottom lip. โBut.โ I wiped at her fresh tears. โI want you to know that it is okay to be sad. To be mad.โ She looked up at me. โSome days, especially right now, are going to be hard. But Iโm going to be here with you. Anytime you want to talk about your daddy, anytime you want to yell or cry or just be sad or mad, Iโll be here.โ
I turned her around and rinsed out the conditioner. Once she was clean, I got her out of the tub and wrapped her in her robe. I sat her down as I blow-dried her hair. I danced around her, making sure not to get her dirty again.
We got her into a fresh set of pajamas, and then I tucked her into bed. I turned on her dancing bear nightlight and then I turned to leave her to grieve while I went to figure out what the hell I was doing. โAmy?โ Her soft voice stopped me at her door.
โYeah, sweetheart?โ
โAre you my new mommy?โ Her question, so heavy. Too heavy for a little girl who just had her world shattered.
I turned back and went to the side of her bed. โYour mommy, she went to be with the goddess when you were a babe, and your daddy joined her.โ She nodded, but then her little lip trembled. โWhatโs wrong?โ
โYou donโt want to be my mommy.โ She covered her face with her hands.
โOh goddess, baby, of course I do.โ I reached for her and pulled her as close to me as I could, still covered in muck. She pulled back and I cupped her face. โI will be whoever you want me to be. Your friend, your family, someone who takes care of you. But listen to me when I say this: You are mine, ours. My wolves accept you as ours. Never for one second think different.โ I leaned over and kissed her forehead. โNow sleep.โ
She leaned back against the bed and curled up into a little ball, tears streaming down her face. I walked to her door and stepped out, but leaned against the frame, listening to her tiny sobs. Toya walked back up to me.
โShe okay?โ I just shook my head. โCanโt blame her.โ She leaned against the other wall. โI got him to leave, but he said he will be back.โ I just cut her a look, earning a smirk. โIโm not getting involved.โ She looked to the door as we heard another sob. โShe wonโt sleep tonight.โ
She has lost everything, Nix whispered, her heart hurting for our pup.
She is going to be a wreck for a while, and sleep will be hard, Megan settled against my barrier as Nix pulled closer. Can we help her?
I pushed away from the door frame. โLetโs give her a minute.โ Toya followed me to the next room, my room, I guess.
โWhat are you going to do?โ She closed the door behind us. โYou have a kid now that no one can know about.โ I walked to the desk, and the letter was waiting for me there. โI have you guys.โ Toya lifted her brow. I sighed. โI know Micca and Hanna have to go back to their packs, but Wendyโs alpha doesnโt have a position for her. And youโฆโ
โI donโt have a pack,โ she finished, and I nodded.
โIf you two are okay with it, Iโll hire you to help me here.โ I looked up and pleaded with her.
โYou donโt even have to ask. Wendy and I already talked about it.โ Relief hit me in the chest. โBut what are you going to do? You have to go back to Vinceโs pack.โ
โIโll figure it out.โ I waved my hand absentmindedly. Something was building. But I needed to read the letter first.