Chapter 18

Triva สาระท่านน

"I was waiting for you. Good thing you're back early," Nosh said, plucking the bag from my hand and tossing it onto the couch. He seemed overly enthusiastic about my return—the kind of excitement he usually reserved for when he was horny.

"Where's Gia?" I asked, looking around.

"I put her to sleep."

My forehead creased. "You put her to sleep? Where's Avery?"

"She left." My head whipped toward him.

"She left? She wouldn't just leave like that, especially when I asked her to look after Gia. Unless… did you say something to her?"

"No, I didn't." His reply was quick. Before I could voice my doubts, his hands circled my neck, resting on my shoulders. "Can we not talk about this right now?"

"I missed you," he murmured, trailing kisses along my neck. "So much."

Sex was the last thing on my mind. So many other things crowded that space.

"I should make us something to eat." I'd taken two steps toward the kitchen when his hand closed around my wrist.

"I'm not hungry for food." He pulled me back and kissed me. I forced myself to relax and give in. Maybe I could push away every thought temporarily; maybe this was a chance to rekindle the lost spark. My hands weaved through his hair. Maybe there was hope after all. With that thought, I kissed him back.

But the second my eyes closed, I knew those were just assumptions. I saw his face—warm brown eyes, a razor-sharp jawline. Fuck!

My heart plummeted. Why was I thinking about another man while kissing my boyfriend? I wondered how that man managed to ruin it for me. I realized I was searching for something that wasn't there between Noah and me in the first place: the crackling tension, the insatiable urge to be close, the raw passion. I'd been blissfully oblivious until now. Something had changed.

"You look so sexy, babe," he said, pulling down the strap of my dress and pressing an open-mouthed kiss to my collarbone. I placed my hands firmly on his biceps, resisting.

"Noah, not today. I don't feel like it."

He didn't stop. "That's okay, I'll loosen you up."

I waited a few more seconds before deciding. No matter what, I couldn't bring myself to enjoy this, not with the chaos in my mind. I firmly pushed against his chest, not hard enough to hurt him, but enough to stop him.

"I'm not in the mood."

He stared at me, his face a mix of confusion and incredulity. Finally, he snapped. "What the fuck happened to your mood?"

I blinked at his harsh tone. "Why are you talking like that?"

"Like what? A frustrated man? Because I am. I came back early, waited for you, I even put your daughter to sleep. And what do I get? Nothing. You're just not in the mood."

He threw his hands up as if he had every right to throw a tantrum because he didn't get what he wanted. He actually said that. I scoffed.

"It's all about sex to you," I said, incredulity bleeding into my words. Noah's head jerked back as if I'd offended him.

"No, it's not."

"No! Then how do you explain your frustration? You're expecting sex because you put my daughter to sleep! That's transactional," I said, as if he were talking to a prostitute, not his girlfriend.

"Yeah, that's convenient. Paint me the bad guy for wanting sex," he shouted, completely disregarding the sleeping child behind the door, who was too young for such language. I didn't care and neither did he, he just wanted sex. Why is it so difficult to understand?" He glared at me before slumping onto the couch.

"I get home from work, I wait up for you, and then you go to sleep because you're tired. I want to order food, but then I proceed to cook for you because you're tired and want a home-cooked meal. You cancel our date night because you're tired from working all week and want to rest. You expect me to understand all of this, but you're not ready to accept that I might be tired too, that I might be exhausted. How does this work?" Throughout my rant, I kept my voice low but made sure he understood the problem. His expectations needed boundaries.

"No, this is what it is: You're being petty."

I might as well have banged my head against the wall; the outcome would have been the same. I wondered if he'd always been this unreasonable.

Deep breaths. In. Out. In. Out.

"Good night, Noah."

I picked my purse from the couch and headed to Gia's room. She was asleep, curled up under the covers. Her peaceful, smiling face brought me some comfort.

My phone vibrated with a message.

Rey: HOLY SHIT! That was hot!

Freya: Which part?

Rey: The part where he punched that guy in the face and threw him out of the club. And oh, the part where he couldn't keep his eyes off you.

I had felt it too—Aiden's eyes on me. I'd tried to appear unaffected by the heat of his gaze, but it had been fruitless. I'd been left feeling tingly, half excited and half confused. Such a reaction to a man I'd had sex with years ago was alarming. You mean the best sex you ever had in your life? My subconscious taunted me.

Rey: Are you not replying because you're busy visualizing his dick?

Not exactly, but close. A wave of mortification washed over me. No matter how good the sex had been, I couldn't think about another man while I was in a relationship.

Rey: I don't blame you if you are. I mean, he is gorgeous.

Freya: I have a boyfriend.

Rey: And I have a father who went to buy milk and never came back. Why are we mentioning these useless people!

Freya: You realize you're talking about the guy I'm dating?

Rey: Don't keep reminding me that I failed as a wingman. That prick doesn't deserve you, babe.

She'd been quite expressive about her dislike for Noah from the beginning. At first, I didn't see it. Now, a part of me saw how strained our relationship was. But I hated giving up on relationships. I always felt it was the easy way out.

I typed a quick "good night" to Rey and put my phone on the nightstand. I could do the rest of the thinking tomorrow. Besides, I had a major task at hand.

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