When my panic attack finally eased, and I could breathe again, I peeked up at Sinclair, tears burning my eyes. "I'm sorry," I murmured weakly, hating that my stupid brain had ruined our moment.

"Why the hell are you apologizing?" Sinclair countered, still petting me. He hadn't let me go even once as I weathered the storm of anxiety and despair, only pulling the pillows and blankets of my nest closer so I would feel secure.

"Because I screwed everything up," I explained thickly. "I was supposed to be helping you, and I fell apart at a mere suggestion." Shame coursed through my veins, not because of the panic itself, but because of what it might mean: that I'm too fragile, too broken, to be Sinclair's Luna.

"Ella, don't be silly," he replied, and though I understood he didn't mean to dismiss my feelings, the words still stung. He opened his mouth to continue, undoubtedly with some trite placation about how "these things happen" or similar, but I cut him off.

"I'm not being silly!" I insisted with exasperation. "What good am I as a mate if I can't even be there for you when you need me? I get to lie around all day doing nothing while you're out saving the world. You're constantly taking care of me on top of all your other worries, and I never give you anything in return. It's not right. You shouldn't have to comfort me when you're the one who needs to decompress!" I burst, throwing up my hands. "All this time we've been convinced that I can't be your Luna because I'm human, but we never even considered that I might not be up to the task, even as a wolf." My voice shook with fresh tears, and I couldn't look at Sinclair as I continued, "But now… what more evidence do we need?"

Sinclair didn't make a sound, and when I looked at him, he was positively fuming. His heavy breathing and black expression told me he was barely holding onto his temper, and the hands that were caressing me mere moments ago were now stationary and stiff. I watched as he struggled to quell his anger, even though I wasn't sure what I'd said to infuriate him this way. After a second, he shook his head, apparently surrendering the battle. "I need a minute, Ella," he finally growled. "I need to go for a run, but I don't want to leave you unless you're alright."

"Stop it!" I burst, my voice cracking. I was out of bed in a heartbeat, pacing back and forth in front of it. "This is exactly what I'm talking about! Stop protecting me from reality. If you're angry with me, then be angry! Let me deal with the consequences of my weakness!"

Sinclair leaped out of the nest, stalking forward with white-knuckled fists. "I'm not going to yell at you when you've just had a panic attack, Ella. If you want to be upset with me, fine, but I need to let my wolf out and run off this temper." He turned and charged for the door, bypassing me completely.

Then, at the last moment, he turned back, his wolf glowing in his eyes. "And for the record, this isn't special treatment," he rumbled angrily. "I don't believe in arguing or taking action when I'm out of control this way. If you need anything while I'm gone, just ask the guards."

With that, Sinclair disappeared, and I could hear his wolf racing away down the hall. For a while, I simply stood there, staring after him. I was shaking again, and I was trying my best not to dissolve into a fresh bout of weeping. I considered calling Cora, but I remembered the way she'd accused me of selfishly unloading my problems onto her, and I refrained.

My wolf paced anxiously in my head, whimpering like a pup and feeling just as raw as I am—if more feral. She was begging me to do something, to fix this, but I didn't know how. I might have felt terrible for falling apart when I was supposed to be soothing Sinclair, but my wolf seemed much more distraught about Sinclair's anger.

"We should go after him!" she begged. "I can't stand it, we have to fix this."

"We can't," I grumbled in reply. "Even if I wasn't on bed rest and it was perfectly safe, we'll never be able to catch up with him. Besides, he'll only be angrier if we leave the house."

She whimpered in understanding, though she was still beside herself. I climbed back into bed, curling into a little ball and pulling the blankets over my head. I hadn't felt this way before, though Sinclair had certainly been angry with me in the past. "Hey," I asked my wolf after some thought. "Why weren't you this upset when he accused me of being a gold digger, or when he spanked me or dragged me out of Cora's?"

"All those times were different," she argued. "I was barely awake in the beginning, and when he's been angry in the past it's been protective. This is the first time he's really been hostile… and the first time he's walked out. What if he doesn't come back?"

"Of course he'll come back," I assured her, but there was a small part of me that feared the exact same thing. Logically, I knew he had to come back, even if he only returned to end our relationship—after all, he lived here. But somewhere deep down inside of me there was a frightened orphan who imagined I'd never see him again.

"But what if he decides we're not worth the trouble, and simply takes off for greener pastures?" my wolf pressed.

"You're being ridiculous!" I shouted at her. "His entire life is here. His pack is here. He has too much integrity to abandon his duty that way."

"But what if?" she dug in her paws. "It wouldn't be the first time. He told us no wolf would ever willingly abandon their pup, especially with humans—but our parents did. Something must be seriously wrong with us—what if he's finally figured it out too? What if this was the last straw?"

"Stop it!" I cried aloud, clamping my hands over my ears, even though her voice was inside my head. "Stop it, stop it, stop it!"

A sob wrenched from my chest, and the more time that passed, the more convinced I became that she was right. I almost felt as though I'd left my body and was watching all this take place. I'd had out-of-body experiences before, so I knew that this wasn't what was happening, but still—I was both conscious of how irrational I was being, but unable to do a thing to stop myself from spiraling deeper into my fears and insecurities.

When I finally heard Sinclair's footsteps climbing the stairs, the violent fist clenched around my heart started to relax, but only just. "If he's back it must be to end things," my wolf wailed. I wanted to shush her, but instead I focused on trying to look as though I hadn't just spent the better part of two hours crying like a baby. I whipped the blankets off and straightened my body, dragging my fingers through my hair and wiping the accumulated salt from my eyelashes.

So when the door opened and Sinclair walked in, still naked but considerably dirtier than he was when he left, I was sitting up in bed pretending to read a book. I looked up at him, cursing my lower lip for trembling. He certainly looked calmer now, but there was an undeniable tightness around his eyes as he looked me over. He came over and moved to sit on the edge of the bed, but my wolf saw the dirt on his golden skin and a growl surfaced in my chest.

Seeming to understand that he wasn't allowed to sully my nest, Sinclair reached his hand towards me. "Come take a bath with me."

I glanced at his muddy feet skeptically, and he sighed. "I'll rinse off in the shower first."

"Then why not just shower?" I suggested, not wanting to put myself in a situation where I had to feel his body against mine as he broke my heart.

"Because I want to have a bath with you," Sinclair answered gruffly. "And I can tell you're still upset. We could both use it."

"Can we just get this over with?" I huffed, wrapping my arms around myself to hide my trembling. "There's no reason to draw it out, Dominic. Just tell me what you decided."

His face crumpled into a grimace. "Decided about what?"

"Whether or not you're going to keep me!" I exclaimed, knowing that I was completely failing in my attempt to seem calm and collected.

Just like that, Sinclair's face closed off, and my heart sank. Oh Goddess, I was right! My wolf howled mournfully. However, instead of agreeing to my request, Sinclair glared and issued a single command, "Bath. Now."