Chapter 618

One evening, as the sun melted into the horizon, I thought of growing old together. But I couldn’t leave, not yet. I stayed, keeping him company, pretending he was still there.

When I was a kid, I overheard my mom talking about how a person’s soul doesn’t just vanish after they die. She said it lingers for a while, staying close to the people it loved—especially for the first few days. I didn’t know if it was true, but I clung to the thought. I didn’t want Hayden’s soul to feel alone, so I stayed. I watched over him until I felt like he was truly gone. Only then did I let myself think about leaving.

During those days, I cut myself off from the world. My phone stayed off. I lived like Yuna used to—reading books, picking wildflowers, brewing tea from petals, and painting. I painted Hayden, again and again. Every stroke reminded me of the portraits Wayne had made of me, hidden in that house.

Morning and night, I talked to Hayden like he could still hear me.

“Hayden, show up in my dreams tonight, okay? Say the stuff you never got to say.”

“Hayden, I miss you so much. I keep wanting to hold you, but you’re just gone. It hurts so bad sometimes, I wonder if I should follow you, just to make it stop.”

“Hayden, I found this little bird today. It was all alone. I tried to feed it. Maybe I can save it.”

“Hayden…”

I said everything I needed to, hoping for an answer. But no one ever replied. Well… sometimes, it felt like there was a response. When I sat by his side, the wind would brush against my face. Soft, warm—just like his touch.

The days blurred together, marked only by the quiet rhythm of sunrises and sunsets. On the 35th day after his death, I brought fresh flowers to his grave.

“Hayden, is this it? Is today the last day you’re here? Will you be gone tomorrow?” My voice shook, but I kept going. “I’ll be leaving soon, too. I’ll go back to work, back to normal life. And…. I’ll face the people I need to face.” I hesitated, then added, “And I’ll come after the ones who did this to you.”

As I spoke, a soft breeze passed by, lifting a strand of my hair and brushing it across my face. It even grazed my lips. Tears spilled over before I could stop them. In the month since Hayden’s death, I’d barely cried. Only in those quiet, unbearable moments when I missed him so much it felt like my chest might cave in. But now, I reached for that strand of hair. “Hayden… is that you? You’re here, aren’t you?”

The wind picked up again, gentle and… That night, I stayed longer, unwilling to leave. The door creaked open and his voice, soft and steady, called out to me.

My eyes flew open. The moment I saw him, I wrapped my arms around him. He ran a hand through my hair. “Don’t stay here alone. Go back, be happy, Kik. Live for me, too…” He said more, but it blurred in my memory. I just held onto him like I’d never let go. The sunlight pierced through my eyelids and dragged me awake.

When I opened my eyes, he was gone. The pillow in my arms was soaked with tears. It was just a dream. A heartbreakingly beautiful dream. But it was enough. The Hayden in my dream had felt so real.

As the sun rose, I smiled. I left, carrying his hope with me.

When the plane landed in Seavora, I didn’t go straight home. Instead, I headed to Lena’s. She was in surgery again, but I wasn’t in a rush. I waited in her lounge, flipping through her medical books to pass the time.