Release 1

Thea’s POV

Sunlight streamed across my face, pulling me from sleep. For a moment, I was disoriented, not quite remembering how I’d gotten back to my bedroom, until the strong arm draped around my waist brought last night’s events flooding back.

Panic shot through me. I didn’t want Kane to wake up, not while I was having this meltdown, not while my thoughts were so jumbled. I slipped out of bed as gently as possible. He rolled over, mumbling something in his sleep but didn’t wake up. I sighed with relief, pulled on some clothes, and grabbed my phone from the dresser.

I tiptoed to the door, wincing when the hinges creaked. Looking back, thank the Goddess, Kane was still sprawled across my bed, the sheet only covering up to his waist, revealing his incredibly toned abs, one arm thrown over his face. I swallowed hard and left the room.

Walking downstairs felt like doing a walk of shame, even though this was my own damn house. The soreness between my legs reminded me of how thoroughly Kane had “relieved my pain” last night.

Once I reached the kitchen, I fell apart. All the panic and anxiety I’d been holding back in the bedroom crashed over me like an avalanche.

“Calm down, people have sex all the time,” I tried telling myself, but that only made my heart race faster.

I started pacing across the tiled floor, still unable to believe I’d slept with another man. I’d always thought Sebastian would be the only one to touch me, to see me naked. But now, I’d not only let Kane kiss me, I’d let him into my bed.

Tired of pacing, I sat on a kitchen barstool, my foot tapping anxiously against the floor. What was I supposed to do? How was I supposed to act? I didn’t know the rules for this shit.

Should I make him breakfast? Would he want breakfast? Was this going to happen again, or was it just a one-night stand?

I placed a hand over my thundering heart. My chest felt like it was going to explode.

“You don’t have to love someone to sleep with them…you just need to be attracted to them,” that female voice in my head whispered again.

I shook my head, feeling disoriented for a moment. Just as I was about to argue back, my phone vibrated, cutting me off. I unlocked it.

Happy Birthday.

I read the short message, wondering who it was from. Then I looked up to see the sender was Sebastian. I felt shocked, then furious.

He had absolutely no right to send me this stupid message. He’d never wished me happy birthday during our marriage, especially not after saying those disgusting things to me.

I stood up and started pacing again. I mean, why now? Why after we’re divorced? Why today of all days? Right after I’d slept with another man?

I didn’t think it was fair to compare the two men’s sexual performance, but Kane had thoroughly claimed me. Plain and simple. It was filled with passion and heat, something that had been missing with Sebastian. I liked it, but I also hated it because it proved how bland my sex life with Sebastian had been.

The only time Sebastian had claimed me like that was our first time, and that was because he thought he was fucking Aurora, his goddamn love of his life.

I always wished it could have been like that between us. Always felt like something was missing. Not that it was bad, just that I wanted more.

Now, after this night with Kane, I realized what was missing between Sebastian and me was passion. I also realized it was missing because I wasn’t the woman he wanted.

I tried to push away the pain that surged through me. I didn’t want to think about Sebastian holding back even during sex because he wanted someone else.

I went back to my phone, just to distract myself from the turmoil inside.

I found more messages wishing me happy birthday. There was one from Roman, one from Iris, even one from my mom, and Damien too. I ignored the rest, only making a mental note of them.

Release – 2

I just didn’t understand. Why now? What did they want to gain from this?

My forgiveness?

Forgiveness. Such a simple word, yet so complex.

How could I forgive them when they hadn’t given me forgiveness? How could I forgive them when they’d hurt me? How could I let go when they hadn’t let me live in peace for what happened?

Kane was right. Sebastian and I were both drunk, but I was the only one punished. I was the only one blamed. I was the one that got called names, the one looked down upon. The only bullied one.

I was the only one that suffered emotionally and verbally. I bore it all. I bore the responsibility even when I shouldn’t have because I loved Sebastian.

The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. I could feel the angry tears wanting to fall, and this time I didn’t want to push them back.

I was tired. So fucking tired of being the forgiving one. Because of that night, I’d lost just as much as Sebastian had.

No one wanted to see how guilt had eaten me up. No one wanted to see how I was breaking, how I was struggling. It was always about Sebastian and Aurora.

Always about him. Why did I have to break for us to work? Why did I have to break for them to feel good? They hurt me, but no one wanted to acknowledge that. No one wanted to acknowledge my pain.

I felt a dam bursting inside me. All the hurt I’d been bottling up, all the pain I’d been pushing down, I couldn’t control it anymore. It all came to the surface as my world came crashing down.

The howl that came from my mouth was something I’d never heard myself make before. It bounced off the walls, echoing my torment. I lashed out, my fists connecting with anything fragile around me.

The sound of breaking glass and splintering wood filled the air, mirroring the chaos inside my soul. My fragile heart shattering once again. Pain consumed me, destroying me from the inside out.

As time passed, the deeply buried hurt continued to surge, crawling out from the depths of my being.

I hated them. I hated Sebastian for everything he’d done to me.

“Thea.” I heard his voice and turned.

Kane stood there, shirtless. He looked at me in shock. The kitchen was destroyed, including the barstool.

Seeing him standing there, I fell to my knees, surrendering, not caring if I cut myself on broken glass. What was physical pain compared to emotional agony?

“I hate him. I gave him everything. He kept taking and I continued to let him. He left me with nothing, Kane. I’m empty, so dark and cold. How am I supposed to live like this? How do I let go? I’m so tired, all the weight I’m carrying has become too heavy,” I cried out.

Why didn’t I see that I was trying to hold on to something that wasn’t supposed to exist? Living in a wasteland where they exiled me?

I felt his arms wrap around me. “Let it go, let go of the pain, Thea. It’s the only way,” he said, and I did just that.

My nails dug into his flesh, and I cried my heart out, transferring all the pain to him. He didn’t complain, didn’t say a word, didn’t flinch.

He continued to hold me as the remnants of my past, my unhealed scars, scattered across the floor. The emotional turmoil finally consumed my physical manifestation.

As I broke down, the demons inside tore me apart, and all the pain I’d endured finally erupted.

In the end, I leaned against him, completely exhausted. He gently picked me up, carrying me upstairs. My eyes began to close as I felt a calmness settle deep within me.

Even if the Moon Goddess thought I was guilty for my past sins, I think I’ve paid enough for those mistakes. It was time to leave the past where it belonged. Time to heal.

I wasn’t hiding anymore. It was time to step out of the shadows and live my life.