Confessions – 1
Thea’s POV
“It’s fucked up, but I get why they all hate me,” I admitted, staring into my half-empty glass. “I destroyed everything.” I murmured, tears welling in my eyes as I absently traced the rim of my glass with my finger.
Remembering the past was always painful for me. The sharp guilt clawed at my heart like wolf talons. I had been so fucking naive and stupid. Thinking that after I ruined Sebastian’s life, I could somehow make him fall in love with me. Seven years later, and I was still paying for that night.
“This isn’t your fault at all,” Kane said softly, his warm fingers gently stroking mine. His touch was comforting.
“Yes, it is,” tears streamed down my face uncontrollably. “I let my obsession with him cloud my judgment, and I made the biggest mistake of my life.”
I stared into the dim bar lights. If only I could go back in time. If only I could change things. My life was filled with regrets. I wished I had listened to that voice in my head, the warning that told me to go home. It would have saved me so much heartache and pain.
“I even wish I had discovered I was pregnant earlier,” I said quietly, my voice slurring slightly from the alcohol. “Then I could have escaped sooner. I would have left and never told Sebastian I was carrying his child. No one would have known the truth.” I knew it sounded terrible, but looking back, it could have spared Leo from witnessing our endless fights.
I could have gone somewhere no one knew me, somewhere without Pack constraints. Far from the Sterling Pack and Ashworth Pack politics and arranged marriages. I was certain they wouldn’t have even bothered looking for me; my father didn’t love me anyway, and that would have been just fine with me.
“Thea?” Kane’s voice pulled me back to reality.
“What?” I responded, blinking.
Confessions – 1
“I said it’s not your fault. You were drunk too, so if they blame you, they should blame Sebastian as well.” He gave me a warm smile, his eyes showing no judgment, and it felt comforting in a way I hadn’t experienced in a long time.
I looked at him in surprise. “You believe me?”
Not a single person, I mean not one fucking person, ever believed that I was drunk. Every member of the Sterling Pack, Sebastian’s parents, even Roman, they all thought I was malicious, that I took advantage of an innocent Alpha- to-be.
“Of course I do,” his dark eyes locked with mine, seeming to see through all my facades. “Don’t you believe that you’re innocent too?”
I sighed tiredly, feeling the alcohol coursing through my veins. “I’m so fucking tired of hearing that it’s my fault. That I wasn’t really drunk. Sometimes I believe that’s how it happened. They all brainwashed me into thinking that I took advantage of his drunken state, to the point where I questioned my own memory of events.”
It was really sad. Sometimes I thought my memory was wrong. I mean, if every werewolf said I was guilty, then wasn’t that the truth? To them, I was just a wolfless freak, a mistake that shouldn’t exist.
“And other times, I think the pain I suffered at Sebastian’s hands was my punishment. The Moon Goddess punishing me for wanting and sleeping with an Alpha who wasn’t mine to have. That’s what everyone told me too. That my suffering was my punishment.”
When an entire Pack forcefully imposes their truths and beliefs, you get used to their words. That’s what happened to me. Before long, I started believing them. Believing that I was at fault, that I deserved to suffer.
The thought of what they put me through, especially Sebastian, made my heart ache. His Alpha voice making me submit, his cold stares suffocating me, and his final cruel words nearly destroying me. It’s terrifying how a man you love can ruin you, making you question if there’s any safe place left in the world.
“The only good thing that came from that mistake was Leo,” my voice softened at the mention of my son. “I will never regret having my son. He saved me. When I wanted to end it all, when I felt so alone that I considered suicide, he was my anchor.”
That was after he was born. I was so tired, so sick of the constant rejection, so sick of seeing the eternal hatred in Sebastian’s eyes that I thought about killing myself. I knew Sebastian would take good care of Leo. Despite hating me, when he first held Leo, something in his eyes changed – I’d never seen them so soft, and he completely fell in love with the little one.
Confessions – 2
I snapped out of that darkness when I realized what leaving Leo would mean. I didn’t want him to think I was weak. More importantly, I didn’t want Aurora to be his stepmother. I knew Sebastian would get back together with her, remembering how strong the feelings between them were, and I was afraid she would transfer her hatred of me onto Leo.
“Now, seeing the vile things she said about Leo, I’m glad I chose to be strong,” I clenched my fists, remembering Aurora’s threats from days ago. “I won’t let her hurt Leo.”
“You should never have been blamed,” Kane said firmly. “You were both drunk, so neither of you should be blamed. Your parents should be ashamed for placing all the responsibility on an eighteen-year-old girl. And Sebastian–he should have taken responsibility for his actions instead of letting all the blame fall on you. He was already twenty-one at that time.”
“But I deliberately went to that bar at the Pack boundary,” I bit my lip, remembering my obsession. “I used tracking software to find him… it was terrible.”
“That doesn’t matter. He gave you alcohol knowing you probably couldn’t handle it,” Kane shook his head, slightly displeased. “He, as an Alpha who carried the future of an entire Pack, should have been mature enough to control his behavior, but he didn’t. The more I learn about Sebastian and your family’s behavior, the less I like them.”
I said nothing. When you live on the edges of werewolf society, you feel it more intensely. I was used to being ignored, treated like an outsider. But Kane was the first person to really listen to me, the first to try to understand.
“Come on,” he said, helping me stand up.
“Where are we going?” I asked, not wanting to leave this temporary haven.
I wanted to stay a little longer. I didn’t want to go back to an empty house that would only remind me of memories involving Sebastian, only remind me of those painful years.
“I’m taking you home…” Kane said gently, his hand lightly supporting my shoulder. “I don’t like seeing you trying to escape the pain with alcohol. I’ll protect you, Thea.”
Before I could say anything, he led me through the dance floor and out of the bar. The night chill made me shiver involuntarily, and Kane immediately took off his leather jacket and put it around me, his scent surrounding me, making me feel strangely safe.
He helped me into his car and started driving. We didn’t talk, but the silence between us wasn’t awkward. He respected my space, letting me dwell in my thoughts.
On the way home, I thought about many things–Leo’s smile, Sebastian’s final cruel words, Aurora’s threats, and my parents’ cold stares. These memories swirled in my mind, but strangely, tonight they didn’t seem as painful. Sure, Kane reminded me it wasn’t my fault, but the guilt of ruining three lives was still there.
Faster than I expected, we arrived at my house. Kane turned off the engine and helped me out of the car like a gentleman.
I took out my keys from my purse and opened the door, moonlight streaming through the windows, illuminating one corner of the living room.
“Want to come in?” I asked him, my voice slightly trembling. “I don’t want tonight to end just yet, I haven’t gotten enough relief.”
“You’re planning to keep drinking just to forget?” he asked.
I nodded.
I just needed a brief escape, even if just for a few hours.
He looked at me, and I saw something I hadn’t seen in a long time flickering in his eyes.
“If that’s the case,” Kane said in a low voice, his tone deepening, “then I have a better way.”
He stepped over my threshold, gently closing the door behind him. The moonlight outlined the edges of his facial features, and I watched as he came closer, cupping my face and sealing my lips with his.
A strange warmth spread from my chest throughout my body, reminding me of how I felt a long time ago when I still fantasized about having a wolf someday. Maybe this was wrong, maybe I would regret it tomorrow, but right now, I needed this.