Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Five: It Is Too Soon.

I am exhausted as I lie next to Myatt in my bed after an intense session. “I wish we had a playroom here too. I love our sessions without it, but I also love when we are in that room,” I say, dancing my fingers across his chest.

“?” he replies, caressing the small of my back.

“New? There isn’t exactly room in my apartment to build one. I can’t turn my bedroom into one for everyone to see,” I laugh.

“I could buy you a bigger place and get someone in to build you one,” he suggests.

“No! You will not do such a thing. You pay and buy enough for me. A new place is way too much, and that’s where I draw the line,” I state firmly.

With our dynamic, I know it is part of his job to take care of me, but an apartment costs way too much. It is not something I will ever agree to, no matter how persistent he is.

“You can always move in with me,” he blurts out.

Regret, or maybe it is surprise, follows. It is written all over his face and in his eyes.

Did I just hear him right? Surely not? It is way too soon for such a huge step. I am not ready for it…

“W-w-what?” I stammer, sitting up.

“You heard what I said, Alyssa.”

“Yes, but why would you ask me that? It is too soon,” I whisper.

I didn’t want to upset him, but I need to be honest with him. I don’t believe he is ready for it. We haven’t even said those three important words to one another yet. He can make it seem like it was nothing, but I know it was something. I heard the disappointment in his voice and saw it on his face when I said no.

“Forget I asked. It was stupid. I got caught up in the moment,” he replies, shrugging it off.

“Wyati, please, don’t take it as something I do not want. It is, one day, but it is too soon,” I sigh and reach for his hand.

He pulls his hand away. “It is… get it… I shouldn’t have asked. Excuse me, I need to use the restroom.”

He quickly climbs out of bed and disappears out of the bedroom. I groan and run my finger through my messy hair. Great! He is upset with me. He must realize it is way too soon. Yes, we spend most of our time together. We rarely go a night without staying with one another. Living together is different. It means neither of us will have our own space if we need it.

I feel guilty for rejecting his request, but believe it is the right choice. I never expected him to ask me such a question. He has opened up to me and let me in; his walls are down, mostly, but I know him well enough now to know they aren’t completely down. He is still guarding his heart from me.

I would worry that if we took such a step too soon, he would become overwhelmed and push me away. He struggles to let people close. I know it wasn’t easy for him to let me in; understandable why he struggles after everything he has been through. I am the same to a certain level. It isn’t easy for me to let people close. We have both changed for the better. I don’t want anything to ruin it. I don’t want to lose him.

Ten minutes passed, and he still hadn’t returned from the bathroom. I pull myself out of bed to go and check on him. As I approach the bathroom, I hear the shower. He is in the shower without me. He never showers without me after sex. We usually take a bath together. I know he is upset with me, but he’ll deny it if I…

I reach for the handle to open it, but he has locked the door. He is purposely avoiding me. I sigh and return to the bedroom. I strip the bed down and change the sheets. I lie at the bottom and wait for him to get dressed. He doesn’t typically…