Chapter Eighty-Eight: Not How I Expected the Night to End

Leaning against the desk, I shed a tear or two during it. Ending the night alone at home wasn't what I had in mind. Was my reaction to Wyan’s actions excessive? The now infuriating pang of jealousy he and his friend conjured after we disclosed our trust in him. He had the opportunity to let it go, but it’s no surprise he didn’t, with his stubborn nature.

I pull myself away from the despair and head to my bedroom. Changing into my nightwear, it’s surprisingly easy how readily he allowed me to come home. I thought it would have taken convincing and a lengthy argument. Maybe he needed some time alone. Lately, we’ve been spending a bit of time together, both at work and outside of work. Less time spent with him tonight will be good for him. I’m sure he’ll make me pay for it when we’re back in the same space. I know how our dynamic works, but there also need to be lines that shouldn’t be crossed on either side. While he may possess it, it belongs to him; he doesn’t always have the right to intervene sometimes. I see that as a good thing. Wyan almost made me lose who I was more than once. Iwani keeps me grounded.

I’m tempted to go to bed alone. I called him to unwind before I wished he had simply felt alone. If he had, we would have stayed in our separate places and neither of us would have been stuck in this comeback and forth. If he’d stayed home, he probably would have. I won’t give into that temptation because I’m the one who wanted to be alone tonight. He can’t go to the kitchen and prepare hot chocolate, ice cream, and mini marshmallows. I can spend time in bed watching something for an hour. It’ll be more comfortable. It is quite cold tonight under my duvet. Before I snuggle into bed, I make sure everything is turned off and secure. I settled on an episode of Elementary. I’ve seen them all before, but I don’t mind watching them again. My brain needs a break to process another reaction.

Ten minutes into the episode, my cell phone started to ring. I can tell who it is without even looking. I grab it and see Wyatt’s photo and number on my screen. Then I saw the call was from him.

I’m in bed drinking hot chocolate and watching some TV. Did you make it home safely? At the host’s, and also in bed.

“I’m happy you made it home safely,”

“I’m worried about what happened this evening,” he sighs.

“It’s not. You made it clear that if I acted like a jerk, you would go home. I allowed my jealousy to get to me, which was a mistake. If I had done as you asked, I wouldn’t be in my bed now.”

“That’s true, but we can’t change it. You need to apologize to your friend as well.”

him off, but an apology would be the right thing to do.

Thank you?

“Tomorrow morning, or do you prefer more time without me?”

“Tomorrow morning. I have no desire to spend any time away from you, Wyan. I just needed some time alone.”

I don’t want to rush into anything; I don’t want to be with him. That’s all.

I immediately rule out his idea.

I ignored the call and became preoccupied, dealing with my internal struggles without him.

I knew that I had to avoid being disowned by his friends.

Chapter Eighty-Eight: How I Expected the Night to End

“I should, for my own sake, even more so. Come over and spend the night at my place! I could…

He could come back and we will say something new. Are you sure you wouldn’t like to…

“No night.”

His voice conveys disappointment. I understand.

“I can manage one night without me.”

He shrugs. “I guess I can try.” Usually, I would either go to him or ask him to come here, but not tonight.

“You will be okay.”

He doesn’t look happy with the decision, but he’ll get over it. He quickly changes the subject. I don’t try to stop him.

“What would you like for breakfast tomorrow?!”

“Surprise me. You know what I like. I…”

His lips curl up in a smirk as he confidently states, “Yes, I do…”

“Not in that way, you pervert.”

“I know, but you made me 100% sure.”

He makes a valid point. Our conversation lasts until I’m done with my hot chocolate. I can feel my body growing heavy and tired.

“Let’s meet tomorrow. Are you sure you don’t want me to come over?”

Once more, a disappointed expression clouds his face. I do feel guilty, but I must stand firm.

“You in the morning.”

“Okay. Goodnight, beautiful. See you in…”

He ends the call before I have a chance to respond. He seems unhappy that I said no to him. I set my phone aside and let out a sigh. I turn off my TV and lay back, gazing at the ceiling. Eventually, sleep will take over. If we had stuck to our original plan of staying home, none of this would be happening. I groan, cover my face with the blankets, and attempt to calm my mind.

God only knows what time he will arrive tomorrow, most likely in the early morning. He has the code to get into the building, so he’s okay alone. His nightmares haven’t been as frequent since he is with me, but occasionally he still experiences them, but not nightly. He won’t tell me if he’s having them. He has the entrance code and a key for my front door. He can let himself in. Maybe I should have asked him to stay over. No. I did the right thing. I can’t always be around; it would be too much for both of us.

I’m spiraling again. I shake my head, clear my mind, and focus on getting some rest.