Chapter 127

Aurora

Just as fast as Dane had somehow loosened Holden’s power, it slipped and snapped down again. I felt like I was choking.

I put my hands to my throat, tears burning behind my eyes. But they weren’t tears of sadness or fear. They were tears of rage. A fury just as hot as Dane’s.

“Stop,” Dane’s hands wrapped around my wrists in an iron grip, and he looked down into my eyes. “What is going on here? What happened to you?”

Let him see it, somehow, I begged. I don’t know if I was asking the goddess or the universe, but I would have asked any power that would listen. See what’s wrong with me, Dane. See what he did. Help me get free or send me away so I can’t hurt you while I’m under his control.

But some of the fire had gone out of his eyes. There was still anger, but it was directed at me. For me, there was only pity.

Goddess, I hated being pitied.

“It’s still difficult for you,” Dane said. “I understand. It’s only been a couple of days. But you haven’t come to me. You never told me about sleeping with him before…”

“Because I’m not sure I did. I don’t think I believe him.”

The muscles of Dane’s jaw clenched again. He stepped close to me and lowered his head so his nose nuzzled my cheek. Then he inhaled deeply, his cheek brushing against mine.

I closed my eyes and dared to lean against him, just a little. I missed him touching me. I missed his warmth, his strength, his scent. I missed feeling whole when his skin came into contact with mine.

We’d only had one night together since I came back. One night before everything went to hell. Goddess, I’d sell my soul for one more. Just one. To feel his hands on me, feel him move inside me, to see him over me and know in my soul and in my bones I was safe, and I was where I was supposed to be.

Dane held the back of my head gently and inhaled again. There was so much longing in the way he held me, but carefulness, as well. Like he was afraid if he moved wrong I might spook, or break.

There was no way for me to tell him that I was afraid of being the one to break him. Hurt him, when I desperately didn’t want to.

“You don’t smell like him,” Dane whispered. “I want to believe if he touched you, I would know. If you were my mate… my pack…”

“I’m not,” I said quickly. I didn’t even know what would happen if Dane tried a similar ceremony to the one Holden had done—or the one that had bound us years ago.

Part of me hoped something like that would overcome what Holden had done. Another part worried I’d be crushed or torn to pieces by the magic.

At my abrupt words, Dane pulled back from me. “I know you aren’t.”

I couldn’t help it: I reached for him. It was an involuntary reaction, like a flower turning toward the sun as it traveled across the sky. “Don’t pull away.”

I felt the bonds of Holden’s magic shift. If Dane asked me to be with him, I’d have to say yes. I’d have to say yes because Holden had commanded me to say yes.

If he wants to fuck you… do it and think of me. We can’t let our little secret get out, can we?

He’d taken the one thing I could find solace in and turned it into something that felt violating, and I hated him for it. I hated him for so many things.

Dane paused. “I thought you wanted space.”

I wanted Dane. But to save him, I had to push him away. I could only shake my head.

“Goddess damn it, Aurora. Show me what you want.”

Dane’s words resonated with power. Again, I felt the collar of Holden’s commands loosen, and for a moment, I had my free will back. In this moment, if I kissed Dane, it was me, not Holden’s control.

So I shifted forward, threw my arms around his neck, and kissed him. It was the last time. Because it might be.

“I want you,” I whispered desperately. “I want you, but I’m afraid I’m a danger to you, Dane, and I can’t stand that. I can’t be around you if I might cause you harm.”

That was it. The magic still stopped me from telling him anything else, but I could say this.

Dane’s hands were at my hips. He pulled me against him, rough and demanding, but not in a way that hurt. Just in a way that made it abundantly clear how much he wanted me.

He dropped his forehead against mine. “I am not afraid of your darkness. I’m not afraid of the shadows the Reeds cast on your childhood. I still want you, Aurora.”

As he did, Holden’s voice sounded in my mind. What are you doing, darling? I can feel you messing with my magic. What a shame. It seems like you need to be punished.