Chapter 128

I went stiff in Dane’s arms, but he wasn’t having it. “Look at me,” he tilted my face up to his. “I’ve got you. I will never ask you to be with me if you don’t want to. But if you do…. you choose.” You choose.

Dane’s words echoed through my soul, giving me freedom. Holden’s magic was trying to close over me again; I could feel it. And I could still feel the commands in place that prevented me from speaking to Dane or anyone else about being bonded to Holden. But for this moment, without knowing it, Dane seemed to have loosened my tormentor’s hold on me and given me my choice back.

I didn’t think it would last, and I didn’t understand how he had done it. Maybe he was just a stronger Alpha. Maybe this was part of the gift the goddess had given him. Or maybe there’s more. A deeper connection. Something that binds you to him beyond magic, beyond time, beyond suffering…

The thought came to me out of nowhere. I brushed it aside. If I examined it too closely… there was some hope that was too painful to hold onto, even for me. But there was a problem. Because even with my freedom, I couldn’t be with Dane. I was still under Holden’s control, and there were still the shadows.

So, even though I could choose, even though in this moment I was free, I had to do the hardest thing I had ever done. I put my hands on either side of Dane’s face, and I kissed him slowly. His fingers tightened on my hips once again. His lips were soft against mine. Seeking. Soothing.

Goddess, I wanted nothing more than for him to take me to his bed and lay me down and heal everything broken inside me with those lips. With his unbreakable strength and his iron will and the gentleness that made me ache in places I thought, for so long, would never ache again. But he hadn’t just somehow given me the freedom to say yes to him; he’d somehow also given me the freedom to say no.

I held back the tears as I pulled back from him. I hated breaking the contact between our lips. I hated every iota of space between us as I leaned away and looked up at him through my lashes. I hated the breath I inhaled as I said, “I want you, Dane. But I can’t take this risk. We can’t do this.”

His eyes flashed gold. The wolf, waiting and dangerous. “Can’t we?”

“You said the choice was mine.”

“I didn’t expect you to choose something you didn’t want.”

“I want you safe. I want our children back. Those are the only things that matter.”

“No. This matters. We matter. I know you feel it too. It’s like I’m half fucking empty when I’m without you.”

I looked away. I did feel it, but it wouldn’t help either of us to admit that. I gathered every bit of willpower I had and forced myself to step away from him. I looked around, almost surprised to remember we were still in the infirmary. I still stood next to Evander’s bed, and he still slept his deep, healing sleep.

“There has to be distance,” I said, “until we get everything figured out.”

Dane’s fists clenched, but I knew my Alpha. He would be true to his word, no matter how angry he was about it. “This is wrong,” he said. “How can I protect you if you’re so damn worried about protecting me?”

I couldn’t even speak, so I just shook my head.

“Fine,” he growled. “I believe you don’t know what happened with Coleridge. If something did happen, I believe it was because of him.” He met my gaze. “I still trust you, Aurora. Even if I seem to have every reason in this world not to.” Then he muttered, “You, or any other woman.”

“Other woman?” I asked.

It was Dane’s turn to shake his head. “You were trying to tell me something earlier. What was it?”

I gasped as I remembered Evander’s warning before he fell unconscious. “The Reeds have the twins. Evander said so. He tried to say more, but he was dying.”

Dane glanced at Evander’s unconscious form. “You saved him.”

“I… think so.”

“And your magic woke Piper up.”

“I don’t know, Dane. It jumped on its own. I can’t guarantee that was me and not… something else.”

“It was you. Despite what happened to my grandfather. Why did he die, and Evander and Piper live?”

Something made me raise my hand to my throat, to the pearl pendant that had always been with my strange book. I hadn’t been wearing it when my powers sapped Connall. But I had been wearing it today. I’d always felt drawn to it.

Was it the reason? Did it do something to… purify my magic?

Dane shook his head, as if he wasn’t really expecting an answer from me. “The Reeds have our children. The new moon is coming. If they want to use their blood—my blood—we know where they’ll be.”

“Where the relic is,” I said.

“Yes. Where the relic is. Which means I’m going to spend the time we have left making sure that no single Reed walks out of that ravine alive.”

That startled me. “But the Council… their ruling on bloodshed.”

Dane’s eyes were cold as ice. “I don’t care anymore. They started this. I’m going to end it. Let there be war.”