Chapter Nineteen

The next morning was much the same. I awoke to my father’s knock, and we made our way to the clearing. He nudged me into the clearing, and I walked to the stump and sat down. By the time I looked back up, he was already gone.

“I don’t know what the fuck is going on, or what I am supposed to do here.” I shook my head and took off my shoes. I planted my feet and took a cleansing breath. Then I closed my eyes and focused, like my father explained. The air was a soft, gentle breeze. I felt it dance across my skin. It played with my hair, tangling my curls as it blew through the clearing. The early morning sun crested the treetops. I could feel the warming light hit my skin.

I wiggled my toes in the grass, and it tickled the bottom of my feet. I opened my hands, palm up on my knees, and settled deeper onto the stump.

“This is stupid.” I opened my eyes and looked around, talking to myself.

“Is it?” I whirled around to see my father’s grandmother walking towards me.

“How is this possible?”

“Magic, granddaughter, magic.” She smiled as she made her way in front of me and then sat down. “Your father is foolish.” She crossed her legs and placed her hands palm up on her knees.

“Why do you say that?”

“Because he had years of training with me before I stuck him in this clearing with no guidance. You did not.”

“I have no idea what I am doing here.”

“I know, and that is why I am here.” She looked at me and gestured. “You are in the right position, well, almost. Get off the damn stump. It’s dead, and you need to connect to nature, not death.” I got up and sunk into the grass and mimicked her, crossing my legs and flipping my hands up. “Better. Now close your eyes. Look inside yourself. Clear your mind of every thought, every worry, and focus on your breathing.”

“What does this do to connect me to nature?”

She giggled, and I cracked an eye. “Nothing, granddaughter, this is connecting you to you. You have gone far too long without knowing your true self. I think it is time you look inside. Once you know yourself, this will come easier.”

“I know myself.” I sounded a little offended, but she just laughed at me again.

“Do you? Truly? Before you were sent here, you didn’t even know you had magic, and now, you know yourself… come, granddaughter. Give it a try.”

“Fine.” I closed my eyes and silenced my thoughts, which took longer than I would like to admit. Then I waited. But connecting to myself seemed a little more active than just waiting. So after nothing happening for however long, I started digging deeper. The deeper I went, the darker it got.

“Where are you?” I don’t know what I was looking for, but could feel something waiting.

“Hello Amy.” A giant, dark wolf walked out of the blackness and sat in front of me. I don’t even know how I was seeing the wolf, but it was like she gave off an inner light. Her golden eyes stared into mine, and I lifted a hand. I touched the crescent moon of white fur on her forehead, and I knew this was Nix.

“Hello Nix.”

“How do I look?”

“Big. Bigger than any wolf I have ever seen.”

“That’s because I am,” she chuffed, and then turned to walk away. “You are not done. Keep looking.”

I walked deeper into my inner mind, and I came across a brown shaggy wolf that reminded me of my mother’s wolf. “Who are you?”

“I am your wolf. Well, one of your wolves.” The soft voice rang out, and I looked deeper into her blue eyes and lifted my hand.

“Megan… I have never heard you.” I softly stroked her fur.

“I am not an alpha wolf, so Nix speaks for the both of us.”

“How do I have two of you?” I sat down and pulled her head into my lap. I stroked her head over and over, forging the bond I felt was needed here.

“You have to wait to find out, but magic isn’t your only surprise.” She hopped up and licked my face, and I felt the bond snap in place. “You will hear me now that we have a bond. But you are not finished. Go deeper.” I stood as she walked away, and I started down deeper.

I walked for what felt like an eternity, and then I felt a spark. I turned in a circle, waiting for the spark to ignite again, and then I was running. Deeper into my very soul, and there I found it.