Chapter 432

“Oh, okay.” I sighed. “So there is a chance I have already smelled his scent, but my mind has forgotten it.” I nodded. “That must be it, then.”

My mom tilted her head at me. “What are you talking about?”

I hit the back of my head off the wall a few times before I groaned. “Your mate said something that had me questioning everything.”

My mom snorted. “He tends to do that. But what did he say this time?”

“That Rowan has been hiding his scent since he was a kid.”

She nodded. “Okay…” She stared at me, as if waiting for the explanation, as if that didn’t explain everything.

“I was in love with him, but he wasn’t my mate, so we didn’t get together, Mom.” I sighed.

She nodded, but was still clearly confused. “Okay?” She watched me for a second and I groaned. “Baby, I don’t know what you are saying. Yes, I just said he has to hide his scent.” She twirled her hands. “Why does it matter? You said you weren’t mates.”

I nodded. “He must have released his scent, and I just forgot it.”

My mom narrowed her eyes. “Why do you sound like you are trying to convince yourself more than me?” My mom grabbed my hand again. “Talk me through it because I am obviously missing something. What brought this up, anyway?”

“We were talking about Thoth while he was gone.” My mom nodded.

“Your computer friend?”

“Yeah.”

“Why was your father asking about Thoth?”

“Because I like him.” I covered my face with my hands and groaned. “And after Brandon, and then messing with Rowan…”

“Mess with Rowan?” My mom was confused. “What mess with Rowan?”

I groaned again. “At school.” I wiped my face again. “I fell in love with Rowan in my first year of school. And he felt the same, but we weren’t each other’s mates, and then we cut ties so we could focus on everything.” I waved my hands. “So I refused to care about another man, and then Thoth kind of wormed his way in. I don’t even know how.”

My mom smiled. “Probably because he wasn’t real.”

I snapped my head up. “What?”

My mom pointed at the screen. “He was a name on the screen. And at first, you said you didn’t even know he was a he?” I nodded. “See, so you spent over a year thinking Thoth was a girl, getting to know her and becoming friends, only to find out he was a man.” She shook her head. “I don’t understand it, but he was probably the only one to listen to you and not judge.” She waved me off before I could defend my friends. “I know you had the girls, but it’s different. Because even though they support you one hundred percent, they still judge you. Thoth was just a name on a screen, and even if he was judging you, unless he typed it out, you would never have known. He became your safe space to vent, work out problems, and just be yourself. You didn’t have to be an alpha, or a leader. You could be weak with him because it didn’t matter.”

“Until it did,” I finished for her and she nodded.

“That’s what a mate is like. Total acceptance.” She sighed. “But I went off on a tangent. So you were talking about Thoth, and?”

“And then we shifted to Rowan and what happened between us.” My mom leaned in. I huffed out a breath. “Brandon got me with the kudzu and I went into heat. I begged him to help me, but he refused.”

My mom nodded. “Lycan’s are huge on fated mates, and saving themselves for their bond.” I nodded. “He didn’t offer to ease the pain?”

I shook my head. “He loved me, he said so himself. I don’t think he trusted himself with me.”

She nodded. “Makes sense. If he had a bond with you, it would have made the yearning to seal the bond worse.” I must have looked confused, because she continued. “Lycans, unlike wolves, will form bonds. You must have felt them already. Our lycans can go over to another’s mind.”

I felt my mouth drop open. “I thought that was normal.” My mom shook her head.

“It’s the bonds we create with people. Pack bonds, friends, lovers become physical bridges we can send messages to each other."

“Once the bond is there, a wolf can learn to use it, but Lycan’s are the only ones that can build the bridge. That’s why wolves use mind linking.”

“Are you serious?” My mom nodded and laughed.

“So his Lycan was probably fighting the need to seal the bond, and he ran away to protect your virtue. But why does it matter? You said you weren’t mates.”

I nodded. “You are missing the same thing I did until daddy pointed it out to me.”

“What?”

“Because of Brandon, I’ve kept my scent hidden. And so has Rowan.”

My mom blinked her eyes. “Wait. So you two have never scented each other?”