Once the pair disappeared around the cabin, Rowan handed me my shovel, but I held up a finger. I moved over to Ternen. โHey, friend.โ I wiped his hair out of his face. โI know you are worried about her.โ
Rowan came up behind me. I could feel his strength trying to seep into me, but I pushed it away. I didnโt deserve the peace he was offering. โYou probably donโt believe me when I say Iโll watch over her. I was supposed to watch over you, too, and now look at us.โ My voice caught. โIโm so fucking sorry.โ
โAmy.โ Rowan reached for me, but I shook my head. โThis isnโt your fault.โ
I couldnโt stop the chuckle that left my lips, but it quickly turned into a sob. I slapped a hand over my mouth, trying to push it all away. I didnโt have time to break down. โIt is.โ I looked back down at Ternen and cupped his cold cheek. โHe was alive and warm less than an hour ago. I should have been faster.โ I shook my head again. โHeโs dead because of me.โ
Rowan dropped next to me. โHeโs dead because Garith sent men here knowing it was important to you. Ternen gave his life to protect his mate and his twins. You donโt get to take that away from him because you are feeling guilty.โ Rowanโs eyes held mine.
โIโm not.โ I shook my head and tried to argue.
โYou are. You are taking his loss on when he fought tooth and nail for his family.โ Rowan leaned in and kissed my forehead. โHe was an omega who fought off rogues. Do you know how rare that is?โ
I nodded. โOf course I do.โ
Rowan looked down at Ternen. โI donโt think you do. Omegas usually cower, and I donโt say that as an insult. Their wolves are just too weak. Normally, they run away and hide if they can.โ
โAnd if they canโt?โ My words were soft, but I already knew the answer.
โThey accept their fate and let themselves return to the Moon Goddess. But Ternen, he ran towards the danger. He fought and killed ranked wolves to save his mate and their pups. He knew he didnโt have a chanceโฆโ
โThen why did he do it?โ I wanted to scream.
โYou know why.โ Rowan looked at me. โYou saw exactly what I saw.โ I closed my eyes, and shook my head.
โNo.โ I didnโt want to think about it.
โYes.โ Rowanโs fingers slid into mine. โAlannah was being pulled to the woods, and Ternen was running after them.โ Rowanโs words were soft.
I just kept shaking my head. โNo.โ The ache in my chest tightened, but no matter what I said, I knew he was going to finish what he was saying.
โYou were fighting to reach the edge of the circle, and right before Ternen ran into the trees, he looked back and saw you were coming. He knew you werenโt close enough.โ Rowan tightened his hands as I tried to pull away.
โYouโre wrong.โ
โOh, baby, I wish I were.โ He pulled me to his chest. โBut you and I both know he saw you would not make it. We both watched his face. He made a choice: his life for theirs, his life to give you enough time to reach Alannah, to save her.โ
โNo.โ I felt the word ripped from my chest. The dam broke, and I felt hot tears hit my cheeks.
My mate kissed me and then pulled away. โHe made the decision that his life was worth hers, and he wasnโt wrong.โ I reeled back as if I had been slapped.
โHow could you say that?โ
He lifted a hand to cup my face. โBecause I would make the same decision in the blink of an eye. Your life is worth more than mine, ten times over. I would sacrifice myself for you, for our pupsโฆโ His sad smile broke a sliver off my heart. I just shook my head.
โYouโre wrong. Youโre the king.โ I tried to pull out of his arms.
But he just kissed my lips. โYou are the queen, my life, my heart, and the only thing that has kept me going these last few years. I would die for you. And Ternen did that for his mate, for their pups. Donโt diminish his sacrifice just because you feel guilty.โ I stared up at Rowan, and I felt the truth in his words.
I knew I was dead as soon as I started running after Alannah. I just had to fight long enough to make sure you could get there to save her. Ternenโs sweet voice whispered in my ear.
โYou did it,โ I whispered back as I turned back to my friend. I grabbed him in my arms. โYou saved them.โ I kissed his forehead and leaned him against the tree. โNow itโs time to rest.โ