Chapter 566

I wiped my tears and stood. I turned to see my mother peeking around the corner, but I waved her off. Rowan furrowed his brow. “Why did you wave her off?”

I grabbed one of the shovels in his hands and then started digging. “I didn’t want her to come back over with Alannah until the evidence was gone.” I waved my hands over my face.

“Why?” Rowan smiled, but it was a little hesitant, like he didn’t know why I wouldn’t want Alannah to see me cry over her mate.

I rolled my eyes. “Don’t play dumb.” I pointed at him. “You know exactly why.” I looked up, and I realized he didn’t. His eyebrows were pinched, and he was staring at me. “I’m an Alpha, and until she settles at my dad’s pack, she is my responsibility.”

“So?”

I stopped digging. “An alpha needs to be strong for their pack; we can’t show our weakness.”

“That’s bullshit. I watched you with Toya and Wendy.”

“That’s different.” I shook my head.

“How?” He started digging again, and the hole started to get wider.

“When I’m just me, just Amy, then I don’t care who sees me cry, or whatever weakness I show. I am comfortable in my skin, and I know I can kick whoever tries to make fun of me. But like this?” I waved my hand. “Where I have to be strong for wolves that rely on me…I can’t break down.”

“Why not?” Rowan moved closer. “You know they wouldn’t care.”

I nodded. “I know. But they need the safe space.”

He tilted his head. “The safe space?”

I started digging again. I heard the soft cries of Alannah, and I nodded. “She needs the space to break. She needs to feel secure enough to break down, and she won’t be able to do it if I am.” I looked at him. “I can break down with you because you are my safe space.” I nodded towards the cabin. “And I’m theirs.”

Rowan’s face cycled through a million emotions, but it settled on one, and I watched as his face softened. “You stay strong for them so they can focus on their pain, and they know you will watch over them.” I nodded. “You are my safe space too.” He finally understood.

We silently got back to digging. The pit in my stomach stayed though. Something was wrong at my father’s pack, and I needed to get back there. Every shovel of dirt, the sweat, the pain, got me closer to where I needed to be.

“That’s deep enough, you two.” My mother’s voice rang out over us, and we both jumped and spun. Her face was a mask of worry, but she smiled. “That’s deep enough.” I nodded and tossed my shovel up.

Rowan hopped up and walked over to Ternen. “Time to rest.” He picked him up gently and walked him over to my waiting arms.

“Wait.” Alannah stepped forward, her eyes full of panic. “I can’t do this.” She shook her head and reached for her mate, but my mom grabbed her around the shoulders.

“You can.” Her soft whisper was full of her power. Her wolf was pumping out her calming aura, settling the panic in my friend’s eyes. “He was brave when he chased after you, right?” Alannah turned to my mom and nodded, tears streaming down her face.

“He didn’t hesitate.” She swatted angrily at her tears. “He just charged the rogues.”

My mom cupped her cheeks. “Now it’s your turn to be brave.” Alannah searched her face and then turned to mine.

I nodded. “You have to be brave, Lan. Who else is going to tell your pups how brave their father was?”

She staggered back, but she nodded. “I will. Every day.” I opened my arms for Ternen as Rowan slid him to me.

Something new settled in me as I laid Ternen in the ground. A new, chilling tiredness settled in my bones. I looked at the dirt wall of this grave towards the first I had dug alone, for Carl. I was tired of burying good wolves that deserved more from this world.

Carl deserved to watch his daughter grow up into an amazing young woman. Ternen deserved to grow old with Alannah. He deserved to see his pups come into this world. And he deserved more than the shitty life he was stuck with in Vince’s pack.

“Rest well, Ternen. We will see you again.” I felt a single tear break free as I leaned over his body. I heard a soft gasp as I pulled back. “You deserved more than the hand you were dealt in this life. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to give it to you.” I stood to pull myself out of the grave and froze. Rowan was already there, wide-eyed, looking at my forehead. “What?”