Chapter 5

A little girl sat across from me, pale and clutching her stomach. I was about to offer help when hurried footsteps sounded. A teenager in a school uniform, his scent redolent of youth, stopped nearby, forehead and eyes glistening with sweat.

“Giada, how are you? I brought you a hot water bottle; hold it for a while.”

The girl, clearly in pain and unable to straighten, smiled weakly and shook her head. “I’m fine, don’t worry.”

Tears welled in my eyes. The scene was so familiar. I remembered a time when my period had been excruciatingly painful. During a class meeting, the pain had been so intense I lay on my desk, sweating profusely, unable even to raise my hand. The head teacher, engrossed in her speech, noticed nothing. Then, a boy—a “genius” in the teacher’s eyes—stood, ignoring all gazes, his chair scraping harshly on the floor. Alvin rushed to me, lifting me up, his hands trembling as he carried me to the medical room. Nestled in his arms, enduring the pain, I whispered, “I’m fine, don’t worry.”

Alvin, disregarding curious stares, had even gone to the supermarket to buy sanitary products for me. That handsome boy, bathed in the moonlight, would linger for half an hour before the women’s products, carefully studying which brand was safest. He was my youth.

A sudden urge for self-harm welled up. Since it already hurt so much, why not let it hurt a little more? I opened social media. She had posted: “My birthday’s in two days, but my boss asked me to accompany him on a business trip to Belldale. Poor working person, crying.”

Her fans rejoiced.

“Silly little fool, your boss wants to take you out for your birthday!”

“I’m so envious! I’ve only seen that in novels.”

“Get together already and make my ship come true!”

My grip on the phone tightened. Alvin… he’d said he would never abandon me. They would never abandon me like my parents had. He’d said he couldn’t…

I buried my head in my knees, hugging myself, hiding in my own world like an ostrich.